Thursday, November 19, 2009

Take My Ex....Please

Do ex-husband's have to take a class to learn to be first class jerks? Is that something that is written in the fine print of the divorce decree? Or do they have to really study this to perfect it? Or, maybe it is just something they are born with and once they are rejected in whatever manner, it kicks in against the woman who rejected them.

Crazy Man's aunt was diagnosed with liver cancer about 3 months ago I think. Things progressed quickly and she was put into hospice care last Tuesday. Two days ago, she died. It has been a chaotic whirlwind since Saturday. Everyone seemed to know that it wouldn't be very long. I saw her on Sunday and tried to prepare Crazy Man, but how can you be prepared for anything like that?

Tuesday, we didn't get home until late and ended up going to bed without eating. (The Boy had been with his DNA donor and had already had supper.) Crazy Man was up really early to get on the road Wednesday morning. He didn't make it home last night until 9:40 pm and was out the door by 3:45 this morning.

Because I am not a girly girl, I am struggling trying to find something appropriate for the visitation and funeral. Luckily, one of my friends that I work with said that she would come over this afternoon after school and help me find something that will work.

The Boy is supposed to be with his DNA donor this weekend. When I told him that we would be discussing as to whether he would need to be at the funeral if it took place on Saturday, this such and such told me that he would have no problem with The Boy attending the funeral "as long as you remember this and it won't be a problem when this happens with my wife's family." He then says "and you are going to drive to us to pick him up, right?"

At that point, I began to cry because the death had occurred less than 2 hours prior to this. I just told him that I was not going to argue with him and even though he wanted to make me out to be the biggest jerk in the world, I had no intention of ever keeping my son from attending a funeral of a family member. as long as it was appropriate. I told him that I was trying to do what was right for my family and he would just need to get over himself.

Last night when I found out for certain when everything was and what Crazy Man and I had decided about The Boy's attendance, I called the DNA donor and let him know.

We had decided that it would be best for The Boy to attend the visitation on Friday and not the funeral on Saturday. I told him that we would be leaving school a couple hours early and that he could then pick him up at the funeral home at 5:30pm. I asked that he come inside and find me so that I would know when he left.

I was told that I should just have him waiting outside at 5:30 because it would be disrespectful for him to come inside. I told him that it would be even more disrespectful for me to be watching a clock and that I would probably be having more on my plate than trying to keep an eye on the time. He then said that The Boy could "set an alarm on his phone."

Wait. Setting an alarm would not be considered to be disrespectful?! Since when?!

The phone call ended when I just told him that he needed to be at the funeral home at 5:30pm to pick up The Boy and that I would need to be aware when The Boy left. End of discussion, have a good night, I'm done.

I am sure that this will be an issue when 5:30 on Friday evening rolls around. Then again, with Crazy Man standing there, it probably won't be. After all, the DNA donor only wishes to control my life and upset me. After looking back on it all, I realize that he has always been like that towards me.

I am beginning to think that maybe it is just something these men are born with, and are therefore destined to become someone's ex. It's just that on days/weeks like this, I wish he were someone else's ex.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss...there never seem to be any right words at times like this...just know I am praying for your family...

    I think you and I could play the 'My Xfactor is worse than your Xfactor' game all day long-mine is just down right a dirty rotten bastard and I dont use that term loosly!

    stopping by to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving