IEP'd

I know...it has been a while since I have been here. I have been stupid busy and despite the fact of wanting to write here, I haven't had the opportunity to do so. Today, I decided to say "forget the rest, I need to do this."

First off, I guess we will see if my spaces are still gone. If so, I wish that whoever took them would kindly return them to me. The abilty to easily read what I type has been stolen along with those spaces between paragraphs/thoughts.

Next. Don't think I have written about what happened at The Boy's IEP meeting. Went to the high school at 2pm and left sometime after 3pm. Yes, the other portion of his DNA did show up. And that is where it all went downhill.

The LD teacher who is in charge of writing his IEP is also his Transitions teacher. We had spoken concerning some papers that were sent home for me to complete and return and we thought it may be a good idea if we could get his diagnosis changed. He has been receiving services for written expression. Nope! Not autism. She wanted to change his diagnosis to autism so that his goals in his IEP made more sense. She told everyone that was gathered (the special ed director for the district, his Language Arts classroom teacher, the counselor, the building principal, myself and his father) that since she is seeing The Boy and spending more time with him on a daily basis, that she is seeing several "odd" and "different" and "concerning" behaviors. She reitterated the fact that he was not a "bad" kid, and in fact was very polite and respectful, but that there were some actions that she had never noticed before and would be good to work on in the Transitions class.

We talked about what he would be learning in the class and that we hoped he would be able to continue the class for the rest of his high school career. We talked about the fact that he will be having 4 end of course exams and how and where he would be taking them. (I think that it was decided that he could leave the room and take the two that have a lot of writing on them, but the two that will be completely multiple choice, he will stay with the other kids.)

Well. His father decided to mention the fact that he "wants him treated just like all of the other kids in his class. If they have to take a test, then he has to take the same one." I have no argument about taking the tests. And, yes, I do want him to be treated like everyone else. However, if he needs accommodations (smaller groups of people/different room/longer time to complete) then he should receive those. His father did not agree. Matter of fact, it came to light that he had instructed The Boy that he did not need to leave the room to take any test unless others were also leaving the room. He had instructed him that it was "silly to do that". (This now explains the reason that The Boy would never leave the room, even though at times he wanted to. He didn't want his father to find out that he left the room.)

His father also voiced the fact that he and his wife "don't see the things that she says happens with him" and that "he just needs to learn how to cope with the problems that he faces everyday. If it is too loud or whatever, he needs to learn to cope with that. Everyone has bad days and he needs to figure out how to handle them." No ****! Of course he needs to learn to cope. What the crap does he think I have been taking him to see a counselor for once a week for the past 4-5 years?! And, duh! If he had any clue about his son's diagnosis, he would know that "learning to cope" is a difficult thing to deal with especially if it means his routine or expectations are interrupted.

Oh but wait. If he knew that about his diagnosis, then he would have to admit that there was/is a diagnosis. And that is where the root of the problem comes along. His father feels that I went "doctor shopping to find someone to give him a diagnosis so you could draw a check for him." Now, I want to get this straight and make sure that I make myself clear. I took my son to see a pediatric neurologist when he was 4 years old on the advice of his Early Childhood Special Education teacher. This is the doc who gave us the diagnosis. Did I shop? Nope. Did he know about the appointment? Yep. And was all for it I might add. And oh yeah, he was still married to me at the time. Did he ever see a check? Nope. Have I ever seen a check for this diagnosis? Nope. AND I don't really plan on ever seeing one.

My son has hopes and dreams for the future. He has already told me where he will be getting a job after he graduates from college! Plus, he was looking at the area where this job is and was house hunting!! Geez! Does that sound like someone I should be figuring out how to get a disability check off of?!

After the meeting was over, The Boy's father told the LD teacher that she needed his phone number because he was not notified "in a timely manner most of the time when something is going on" with The Boy. He then proceeded to tell her that if he had known before Tuesday evening that the meeting was on Thursday afternoon, then his wife would have been able to be there since "she has pertinent information concerning" The Boy.

When I told my Crazy Man about that comment, he told me that I "would not be going to any meeting where that man was going to bring others in and try to bully you even more." (See?? That is just one of many many reasons I love my Crazy Man!)

So, all in all, the decision was made to change his diagnosis, in part, because he can receive more services and to keep him from having to be tested and put through all of that stress again.

Since that meeting, The Boy has been doing well in class. We have worked out some major issues (him not eating lunch and why...a couple of classroom issues...etc) and things are going ok. He talks about his Transitions class almost everyday. He joined FBLA and happens to be the only Freshman. There are about 40 kids in that group which has him a bit stressed, but at least he is away from the kids in his class that really stress him.

He is learning (always!) to work with others. He does not do this well! He had a history project that he was paired with 3 others and he got a 73% on the assignment. It has not been a happy place around our house with that grade! And believe me when I say that I am not the one who is complaining about it! Don't get me wrong. I am not thrilled with the grade since I know that he is capable of getting an 'A' on it, but he is the one who is pitching fits about it.

So, another fun (if you enjoy rollercoasters) year is in store for us with school. I must say that I really am not a fan of rollercoasters. But, if riding one with my son makes his world more tolerable, then I will sit right there with him holding his hand.