Thursday, May 6, 2010

Dear Someone Letters


I have missed writing Dear Someone Letters the past couple of weeks.  I just wasn't able to do so.  But, today is different!  And besides, I have things to say!  Once you have made your way through mine, head on over to Short Mama's place to see who others are writing to.

Dear Waiter at O'Charleys,

Yes, I really wanted a Cuban Sandwich.  It is what my taste buds were craving, not the hamburger that I had to order because your restaurant had removed my sandwich from the menu and you swore the stuff to make it was not in the kitchen.  So when you came back to our table and found me in tears, I almost hope that you thought it was over not getting that sandwich!  Of course that would just make me look like a complete idiot if it were truly the case.  I didn't explain then, but the tears were because I had been informed of the death of one of 'my' kids at school.  Also, I won't be able to come into your eating establishment until the Cuban Sandwich has returned to your menu grief has lessened.

Thanks for understanding,
Don't Make Me Cry Again

Dear Principals,

If you want me to do my job, then let me do my job.  If you want to change the rules for one child here and there, then don't lay it off on me.  I am trying to follow what the law says, but evidently laws aren't really important to administrators.  If the law (yes, it is a real law) says the child can't be in school, then they can't be in school.  You should not have the authority to decide willy-nilly who has to follow the law and who doesn't.  Your job should be to back me up as I try to enforce this law, since that is truly what it is....a law.  But, if you don't want to do that, then please be aware that at any unannounced (at least it won't be me telling you when it is) moment, the state can come in and do an audit.  If they find this school lacking, then they will write you out a bill for several thousand dollars per child who is non-compliant.

Thought you should know.....again,
Not My Fault

Dear Superintendent,

All of the Elementary staff are packing up their rooms so they can take it all to the newly built building three miles away.  Well, all of them except for me.  And why is it that I am refusing to pack anything?  Because if you won't tell me that I have a job, then why should I move things that I may or may not be using next year?  I will pack and move it all when you tell me that you have hired me back.  So, maybe if you want it done before August 1st you should let me know this year before that date.  And it may be a nice idea if you find me some space to actually place the items that I need to place.

Thanks for nothing,
Your School Nurse

Dear IRS,

When I opened up your letter to me yesterday afternoon, I nearly vomited.  First off, why is it that you are just now looking at my 2008 income taxes?  Shouldn't you have done that in, oh I don't know, 2008?!  Secondly, there is absolutely no possible way that I owe you more than I made in 2008.  For that matter, it is more than I made in 2009 and am scheduled to make in 2010!  And thirdly, if Crazy Man and I had actually made what you say we made, then we would have already built our house's much needed second floor....and we haven't.

You are Wrong

Dear Little Little Brother,

Please do not try to go to school next year for only half a day.  It is your Senior year.  You need to have that experience!  It only comes once in a lifetime (or at least it better, so keep your grades up!) and you will regret it when you are my age if you don't stay.

Your Favorite Sister

Dear Son,

I am so extremely proud of you!  You have worked really hard this year, and being named as top student in the Freshman class proves it.  Next year, you have signed up for some tough classes, but I know you can do it.  And, since you had to have special approval to get into a couple of those classes, then you know that both the teacher of those courses and the principal believe in you too.

Your Mom


  1. That's awesome about your son! You should pat yourself on the back as well, mommy!
    Sorry about "your kid". It's always heartbreaking to hear of a young life cut short. May you be comforted in your time of grief...
    Sounds like you've got a whole lotta junk going on in your life right now! Not the same at all, but when we had just paid off the bills from when Bubble was born, we received another bill for upwards of $400.00 from the hospital for "hospital incidentals". Yeah, Bubble was nearly 2 years old at the time. I was all...I think it's a little late to be looking at, and sending me bills from so long ago. As far as I was concerned, they could eat it! I hope you get all your IRS stuff straightened out!

  2. I am so sorry to hear about one of the school kids passing...very sad to hear.

    Sounds like you have a lot of DRAMA going on at the school!

  3. These letters are all terrific! I hope you felt better writing them. I have to disagree with the one to your little brother, though. I had half-days in high school (left to a clerical job) and don't feel like I missed a thing. In fact, it helped me realize that I didn't want to go to work; I wanted to go to college :)

    Oh, man. Good luck with the IRS business.

    So sorry to hear about the loss of your student.

  4. Oh, and P.S. HURRAY! Good job, Boy!