Getting There

I am back.  Kind of.  Physically I am here.  Mentally and emotionally I still sometimes kind of check out for a little bit.  If you have been around very long, then you know that I can't always write here because of lack of computer access.  And if you have been around for the past couple of weeks, then you know what has been happening in my neck of the woods and why I haven't been around.

Today, I finally feel like writing something.

Things are starting to normal up a little.  Although, it is still not like it should be around here.  I still wear my "in memory" ribbon.  And the reason I do that is because I still cry without warning.  And I figure that when I stop doing that, then I will stop wearing the ribbon.  My grief, my prerogative.

What else has been happening around here?

Well, last Thursday evening was the Academic and Sports Banquet.  Awards for these two things are given out that night.  Each family brings in a couple of covered dishes and the school provides the meats, drinks, plates and such.  You have to be invited academically or be on one of the sports teams.  

The counselor gives out awards for kids on the A and B Honor Rolls.  If you have made the A Honor Roll all year (for the first time), then you get an academic letter (to put on a school jacket), a pin to go on that letter (each year you achieve this) and a certificate for the school year.  She also awards a plaque with the student's name and the school year stating that they are the Top of the Class for their grade.

The Boy is not on any type of sports team, but we were invited to attend because he has really good grades.  He has actually had really good grades for his whole school career.  And, he has always been one of the top three or four kids in the class.  When I moved him to this school to start the fourth grade, there was a girl in his class that was blind.  She remains in his class and has been named the top student every year since we moved here.

Now, several of the kids think that it is kind of not fair since she doesn't do all of the same work that the rest of them have to do.  They also don't like the fact that she has someone reading tests and assignments for her since her reader could know the answer and inflect a tone of voice when reading the correct answer.  The Boy is one of these kids (even though he has no understanding of tone of voice!  Go Autism!).  I just try to remind him that he wouldn't want to be blind.  I also make sure he knows that I can't change his mind over his opinion, but as long as he feels that way and he still does his very best, then he knows that the grades he receives are his very own.  I don't think it makes him feel any better, but at least he still does his best!

When the counselor announced that she was giving out the Top of the Class awards, several in this class prepared to clap for the same child that had been receiving it every year.  Man was everyone surprised when The Boy's name was called!  I was excited for him.  The Boy however, just went up and got the plaque without so much as a grin!  He wouldn't even let me take his picture with it!  I think he is excited too, but he was embarrassed to be the center of attention.  The other kids were happy for him though!

I am trying to get excited enough to start packing up my office here at work/school to move it all to the newly built Elementary building that sits right across the street from the High School.  Don't get me wrong.  A new building that close to the High School will be nice.  The problem comes in when I tell you that I will be moving from a room that is about 20 feet by 20 feet with two windows to a room that is literally 14 ft by 8 ft and has no windows in the walls or even in the door to see out into the hallway.  I have seriously used painter's tape to mark out the dimensions on my current office floor so that I can somehow figure out where to place the items that I need to take.  It is like a tetris puzzle!  Once it gets in the room, you can't just change your mind about placement of items without moving everything out the door and starting over!  Oh.  And the 14ft by 8ft area actually only has 10ft by 5 1/2 ft of actual workable floor space!  Yeah.  Everyone needs a challenge!

We are scheduled to get out of school on Friday, May 14th at noon.  At this moment, summer school is supposed to start on June 1st.  Don't even get me started on that!  I am kind of hoping that it is called off due to lack of funding.  Does that mean that I won't have to show up anyway?  Probably not since the superintendent is a (insert word of choice here).

So that is how things have been here.  I am healing from the inside out.  Although this whole thing is going to be leaving a scar.

Because of This, He Is

I am ashamed to admit that I used to look at the kids who were throwing themselves down in the middle of Wal-Mart's aisles and wonder just why the mom was letting the child act that way.  I would always tell myself that my child would never!  And if he did, then that would only happen once!

Then God performed a miracle and I had a child who he blessed with Autism.

What?!  A miracle and a blessing?!  Are you crazy?!

Probably.  But yes, a miracle and a blessing.  I have not always looked at it that way.  And to be honest, there are days that I still don't!  Especially when I am the mom of that kid in Wal-Mart.  Or when I am seen trying to calm a tearful scared child who stands inches above me when we are in the pediatrician's office.  Or when The Boy refuses to let anyone but Shannon touch him at the orthodontist office.

I will not lie when I say that I sometimes wish that my son had a limp or a cast or whatever that could be seen by the world instead of this invisible disability.  At least then there would be no scathing looks from others when the above happens.  I can handle those looks (or I at least like to tell myself that I can), but I get royally ticked when they are directed at The Boy.

If I try to explain that The Boy is on the spectrum, the looks turn to a couple of different things.  Since he has grown so much, most of the time the look continues as anger because now I am just trying to cover for an overgrown brat or a really spoiled teen.  Or, it could turn to confusion and then pity.  Very rarely does it ever go from confusion to understanding.

A miracle and a blessing is what I have. 

When my Grandmother says in awe, "he hugged me", I am reminded of this.  When my teenager tells me that he loves me and doesn't mind if his classmates hear, I am reminded of this.  When I realize that he is smarter than I will ever be, I know that he is a blessing and a miracle.  And without the blessing, The Boy would not be The Boy.  Sure, he would still be my son, but he would not be who he is.

Today is Autism Awareness Day and the month of April is Autism Awareness Month.  Please, open your hearts and your minds when you see those Wal-Mart meltdowns. Maybe, just maybe, that family you are passing judgment on is working through Autism.

Monday Morning Musings

This morning, as we were getting ready to leave, I got a phone call.  Now, you know, if the phone rings in the mornings, it usually isn't the best of news.  And this was the case today.  

My mom was calling to say that they noticed that the water was on the rise and that if it has rained as much north of us as it has rained here in the past couple of days, then dad felt I may have some problems getting home this afternoon.  Which means that I should pack some clothes and grab what we need in case the roads are flooded and we can't get home after work/school.

So, ten minutes before we were scheduled to walk out the door, I am throwing thing in bags.  When we go into town over the weekend, I have to pack clothes for both me and The Boy.  Luckily these things were still in the suitcase.  Of course, they are all dirty, but at least there is something.  We grabbed the dog and his crate and food to drop off at my parents' house on the way.

I didn't get work clothes, just what was in the bag.  There was no time.  As it was, I walked in the door at work at exactly 8 instead of 7:35. So, if the roads are flooded and we can't get home this afternoon, looks like we will probably be at my parents' house.  And, I guess I will wash what I have and if they don't like what I am wearing, I will come home.

 

Other than that little scene this morning, the day has been wonderful!  I am hoping to spend some time today perusing my swap partner's site.  This weekend, I got myself all partnered up by Short Mama who is hosting a Spring Swap.  I have some ideas as to what I will be packaging up and sending, but I haven't made the final decisions yet.

 

I picked up The Boy's report card on Thursday evening at Parent/Teacher Conferences.  He did really well.  All "A" or "A-" with the exception of one "B+". He is sooooo much smarter than I will ever be!  We visited with several of his teachers.  One of them told me that he was going to let The Boy teach for the rest of the year!  Another told me that he was at the top in his class.  We asked his math teacher if she thought he would have any problems if he took both Algebra II and Geometry next year, and she said that she felt he would do just fine.  That is something that I worried about, but if she feels he will do well, then I will fight with him to get his allowed to do this.

 

The only thing that I had an issue with was that the DNA Donor had showed up before I was able to get there.  Normally, that is no big deal, after all, at least he showed up.  However, when he shows up to something like this, he always makes his opinions known....loudly.  

This time, it seems that he told the counselor that The Boy didn't want to go into the classes that we had been talking about for next year.  He said that those classes were of no benefit to him, but that he wanted everyone to get him to take as many college courses as he could so he could earn dual credit.  The counselor asked The Boy what he wanted, not what Mom wanted and not what DNA Donor wanted.  The Boy told her that he wanted to take two maths and two sciences next year in case he decided to take the pre-engineering course at the Career Center his junior year.

He did have questions (which we had already discussed together but think that he wanted to make sure that I was telling him the truth) about how a pre-engineering course could help him when he wanted to do something with computers.  When those were answered, he repeated again which courses he wanted to take "if possible" next year.  Now all we have to do is wait and see how the schedule pans out.

 

Everyone thinks that handling a young child's needs runs you ragged.  And they do.  But personally, I think that getting that teenager on the right course for what he feels he wants to do with his life is even more stressful.

Autism Meeting

There are so many things going on here that I am not sure where to start!  Maybe if I had been here yesterday, there wouldn't be as much that I have to say.  But, that was beyond my control.  The Boy was sick yesterday.  He seems to be feeling better today.  Hopefully that will last, since he has finals on Friday and Monday.

By the way....a final, worth 20% of his grade....on a Monday?!  C'mon!  I am sure he will do fine, as long as he is there to hear what is being discussed, but there are plenty of others who won't do as well since nobody studies over the weekend!

Moving on to talk about what happened in the meeting with those who work with Autism Spectrum folks.

Where we are from, (or at least in the closest big town) they have just built a brand new autism center.  Housed inside of that is another group which was started because a local orthodontist (who The Boy sees) has a son who is on the spectrum.  Growing up, there was not really anyone around who could help get him ready for what he would need to accomplish in his life.  This group is now available to help gear these kids up to help them fit into the world around them. (His son has gone on to attend an out of state college and is an amazing artist.)

When we met with these folks the other day, they decided that The Boy would fit well into a group that they were going to begin.  This group would be broke up into smaller groups of kids/young adults who seemed to be on the same level of "Social Thinking".  The way I understand it, these groups would help teach how to deal with the public....the way things are said, reading body language, etc.

I was told that the group that they felt would work the best for The Boy would be meeting on Wednesday evenings from 5:30 until 6:30.  Each child/parent would have to sign a contract saying that they would attend all (or as many as reasonably possible) of the meetings.  Also, each participant would need to eat supper before they arrived so that hunger would not be an issue. She went on to say that each meeting would cost $25 and they did not send it in to any type of insurance, nor were they sure if any insurance would cover it.

I felt like this would be a wonderful thing for The Boy.  But, I have a few problems with it all.  First of all, we live 30 minutes away from where the meeting would take place.  That would mean that we would spend an hour of travel time and an hour of group time.  And, we wouldn't get home until after 7pm if we were able to walk out the door at exactly 6:30. (And how many meetings do you attend where you leave the exact minute they say everything is going to end?)

Another issue would be that I would have to get us home from school/work, get homework done and supper fixed and eaten before 5pm.  That gives me an hour.  I don't know that I could make that happen.

The travel issue is still a problem when you consider the fact that I try to make only one, possibly two, trips into town each week.  Especially considering the fact that gas ain't cheap!  Granted, there are some weeks when I make considerably more trips into town.  Doesn't make me happy though.

Another factor is the cost.  Yeah, she said that $25 "is really cheap therapy". And it doesn't sound like very much per week when you say it out loud.  But when you actually look at it added into your budget, I would have to come up with an extra $125 for March.  And it all averages out to an extra $100 a month.  I don't have that much extra.  We live paycheck to paycheck with every dime accounted for.

I kind of felt like they were thinking that if I really wanted to help my son, then I would do anything it took to do so.  And maybe anyone who reads this will think the same thing.  If that is the case, then think how you wish.  The fact remains that I don't have the extra, no matter what is on the wish list for things we want/need.  So, unfortunately at this point in time, The Boy will not be attending these meetings.

Another thing that was discussed was trying to get him into a Vo-Tech program through the school.  The one they were all looking at is a pre-engineering program.  They were hoping that he would be able to start going to it during his sophomore year (next year).  That isn't going to be able to happen though since he has to have certain math and science courses completed that are not offered until next year.

We are going to try to get him to get some of the classes done so that he can attend during his junior year though.  The counselor told me that if he does go to the Vo-Tech, he could possibly lose out on being either Valedictorian or Salutatorian of his class.  She said that the Vo-Tech classes are not considered to be "weighted" courses and if someone stayed and took weighted classes at the high school, it could push him out of the running.  I have discovered that I can appeal to the school board to get the pre-engineering classes designated as weighted if I make a good enough argument for it.

That is what we will do.  The Boy would love to be one of the top in his class, but he also would like to attend this Vo-Tech class.  I don't think that it would be fair for him to go to a pre-engineering class and be penalized for attending and doing well.  Therefore, we will appeal to the board should the need arise.

And that is what happened during our meeting.  It sure seemed like a lot more rattling around in my head before I typed it all out!

Redneck Fire Alarm + Autism

On the way to work/school this morning, I showed this picture to The Boy.  I thought it was amusing and figured he would too.  What I didn't know was just how he would react.

The Boy looks at it, kind of chuckles and says: "At least you would never have to change the batteries on it."

Now really.  Was that the first thing you thought when you saw that picture?!

He proceeds to then tell me all the reasons why this would not actually work.  What are those?  Well, first off, who would hear the popcorn popping and know that there was a fire?  And then there is the whole deal of the house would probably be already destroyed by the time the heat really caused it to even start popping.  Plus, the picture was titled as a Smoke Alarm.  It would never detect smoke, but if it was a Fire Alarm, then it might work...over time. 

I can only assume that this is the autistic way of finding the picture funny.  For me, I think it is funny because...well, because it is so crazy I guess.  I mean, really.  Using Jiffy Pop as a fire alarm?!  C'mon! But what The Boy immediately finds amusing is that he wouldn't have to deal with batteries!

Autism has also been showing itself in other mysterious ways lately.  Or at least I am going to blame that.  I would hate to say that The Boy is just not nice.


The Boy has a class during 6th hour at school called Transitions which I have discussed before.  Before Christmas, there was only one other boy in the class.  Since the new year, two more kids have been added.


One of those kids is also in The Boy's freshman class.  However, this child has severe delays (they say they are related to him having seizures) and can not read.  


On the ride home from school one day, The Boy asks me how someone can go through life without knowing how to read.  I tell him that these people usually find ways around it by knowing where things are and using visual cues.  He asks me how they can use a phone if they don't know their numbers or how they can pay for anything if they don't know numbers or letters.  I told him that some do know their letters and numbers, but just haven't figured out how to put them all together to form words.  He asked why they can't read.  I tell him that just like his brain is wired differently than mine, so is theirs.


When I asked what brought this line of questioning on, he told me that it was because what had happened in his Transitions class.  One thing they do as part of this class is called a Copy Center.  The teachers complete a form telling what they need, how many and when it is needed.  The kids in the class get it all done for them.  Kills two birds with one stone that way.  Saves the teacher time and teaches kids responsibility and a life skill.


Evidently the two new kids in the class were being shown how this whole system works.  Their teacher filled out a fake request sheet and gave it to "L" and told him to ask questions if he needed help.  "L" took the paper and began looking at it.


The Boy asked him if he needed help.  "L" never answered.  The Boy asked again.  No answer from "L".  Finally, The Boy just looks at him and says "L. Do you have a question?  Can you even read that paper?"  


"L" tells The Boy that he can't read it.  The Boy proceeds to tell him, "If you can't read it then how are you going to know what you are doing?  You are going to have to ask for help you know."


All that The Boy said may have been true.  But he needs to learn a little tact!

I did remind The Boy that maybe "L" is a little embarrassed about the fact that he can't read, so it may be hard for him to ask for help.

Yeah, autism sucks.  But sometimes it is funny too.  Plus it helps remind me that some things that you don't even think about that come naturally to most others has to be taught.  Like tact! 

It's Triplets!

Yesterday I was at the high school building giving some medications to a couple of kids.  I was in the hallway and I hear someone say to me "Hi, The Boy's mommy!  I love you!"  (Of course, she said his real name, but you get the jist!) I just looked at her and told her that I loved her too and she went on to class with a big smile.

This girl is a friend of The Boy's and in his class.  I don't know a ton about her, but I do know that she has kicked the butt of a male classmate.  I know...maybe I shouldn't let The Boy hang out with her.  But, everyone needs a friend and hopefully some of The Boy's calmness with shed onto her.  Besides, she treats The Boy well.

I laughed with The Boy this morning telling him about it.  A few years ago, another boy in his class decided to call me mom also.  The Boy wasn't too excited about that happening and told him that he had had me longer.  They discussed all of this and it was decided that he would be called Son Too.  He didn't like it at first because he said that since he was actually a month older than The Boy, then he shouldn't be the second son.  I told him that was not the way too was spelled.  That seems to have satisfied both of them!

Now, it seems that I have a daughter!  My grandmother will be so happy to have another girl in the family.  I told The Boy that his list of siblings was growing by leaps and bounds.  I also let him know that since they were all basically the same age, then that made him a triplet!  He just grinned and said that he was okay with that.

I always wanted a bunch of kids.  I am thinking that this way of getting triplets is probably much less inexpensive.  Plus, I didn't have to go through a triplet pregnancy!

Any Suggestions?

I need ideas!  Last year at the Elementary building of the school I work at, we participated for the first time in something called Pennies for Patients.  This is a drive to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.  If the school raised over $300, then the winning classroom would get a pizza party paid for by the Society.

We did things just a little different from they way they suggested it to be done.  Instead of the class raising the most money winning, we decided to do it by pounds.  If we had paper money, then we weighed how much a dollar worth of pennies was and added that amount.  

Over three weeks, we had the kids bring in their money to put in their classroom buckets.  On each Friday, we would weigh what they had brought and announce who was in first, second and third place.  And, the last two Fridays was something special.  We had a hat day where they could pay a dollar and wear a hat.  The last day, we used duct tape to tape a coach to the wall.  Each kid paid a dollar for a strip of duct tape.

We raised a total of $674.74.  And, instead of just the first place classroom getting a party, we split the money they were sending to buy the pizza and also had smaller parties for the second and third place groups.

Now, we are revving up for this year.  We are going to be doing this the first three weeks of February this year.  We have been brainstorming ideas, but nothing is set in stone yet.  We know that we want to go by weight and have three parties again.  But other than that, we aren't positive.

These are some of the things we have considered:

-- pay a dollar to wear a hat

-- pay a dollar to chew gum in the afternoon

-- buy a candy gram to be passed out for Valentine's Day

-- find folks to donate some good stuff and offer a raffle

We had also considered taping the coach to the wall again, but thought we should try something else this year to keep it from becoming old.  Don't think that we are going to be able to find any staff member that will let us shave or color their hair!

If anyone out there has any suggestions, I would be more than willing to listen and consider them.  Just remember that it is really cold around here in February, so nothing that involves water or outside.

Or, if you want to donate something or know of someone who would, leave a way to contact you and I will do so.

Yeah, I know this is a long shot since there aren't many who even know that I am around, but it never hurts to try!

---------------------------------

Other stuff.....

The Boy brought his grades home on Monday.  He got all A's for both the quarter and the semester!  I am so proud of him.  And, even better, he is proud of himself!

Yesterday was the first day in a lot of days that the temperatures got above freezing.  A heat wave!  Matter of fact, it felt downright warm in the sunshine!  Of course, it fell way below freezing overnight.  We have been keeping drinks (like gatorade) out in our garage.  No need to use electricity to keep them cold!  Opened one earlier and it was slushy!

Got a hotel reservation for my meeting that I have to make up for when the weather was bad.  Trying to convince a friend to go with me so that I don't have to drive it by myself.  The only problem is that if she goes with me, then we will have to leave closer to 5pm, so that puts us not getting there until sometime between 9 and 10.  If I go alone, then I am hoping against hope that I will be allowed to leave school around noon to drive it.

I have been trying to use my Wii Fit everyday for at least 30 minutes of step. And, I have taken to weighing myself on it in the mornings right after I get out of the shower.  Loosing some weight would be great, but if I could just tone things up a little to get back into some of my clothes, that would be good too.

The DNA Donor wants a copy of Crazy Man's insurance card that covers The Boy.  He says it is "just in case I need to take him to the doctor."  This is causing a little tension.  Crazy Man says that he won't let DNA Donor have a copy because it is secondary.  Therefore, it won't change what the DNA Donor's insurance will do.  And, then there is the fact that DNA Donor would have no idea which doctor to take him to if he were sick, and he better be letting me know so that I can be there if he needs to take The Boy to the hospital.  Maybe I am crazy, but it doesn't seem like there is a need for DNA Donor to have a secondary insurance card.

Realized on Monday morning that our water softener was not softening water.  Lovely.  The thing is less than six months old.  It shouldn't be giving me problems yet, should it?!  Have no idea what the problem is/was, but have coaxed it into softening water again.

Still haven't gotten my report that is due Friday done.  I'm trying!

Have been trying not to cry lately.  All the time.  Don't know what the deal is, but tired of it.  Maybe I just need a vacation.  And a winning PowerBall ticket.

Good, Bad and Ugly

The Good:  I'm back!

The Bad:  Being back and having access to a computer to leave this post also means that I am back at work/school.  

And, having been gone for so long means that I may have lost the four folks who have unwittingly signed up as followers!

The Ugly:  Got to work/school this morning only to find out that there was no heat.  Someone who supposedly is in charge of these things let us run out of gas.  Therefore, no heat.  And it was only about 7 degrees when I left home!  My fingers are not working well because the thermometer in my office reads 63 as I type this....after over three hours of having heat on!

The milk truck did not make their delivery this morning, so someone had to got to the local quick mart and clean them out of gallons of milk so our kids could have breakfast.

And, do you realize just how many kids don't really get to eat when school is out?  I guess that unless you work in a school, you probably wouldn't know about this, huh?  We had a huge amount of kids eating breakfast this morning, even though it was only cold milk and cereal. We always worry about our kids when we are out of school because of this little known fact.

The Good:  We had Christmas with most of our family with minimal tears to be found.  I still have The Boy questioning Santa!  How else would a gift wrapped in Santa paper have made it onto his bed since none of us had been in that house for over a week?  The Boy received his first Lionel Train.  And he loves it!  I will have to post pictures later when I am able to finally sit down and go through them all.

The Bad:  My cousin did not bring himself, his wife or two little boys to Christmas at my Grandparent's house, so that kind of put a damper on things there.  Another cousin had shoulder surgery the week before, so he spent most of Christmas in a drug induced haze.  He was not his usual chipper self.

The Ugly:  I have to preface this by saying that it is not the number of gifts a person receives, it is more about the way people are treated.  When we went to Crazy Man's aunt and uncle's house for that Christmas get together, I nearly lost my mind all over one of the aunts.

It is known that all the kids get a gift from the adults.  That usually means that each kid gets 4 or 5 gifts.  They usually are not overly expensive, just little somethings.

Last year, one aunt came in and started handing out gifts.  She looked at The Boy and said "I didn't get you anything. I forgot."  She then walked away.

This year, at least she didn't say it to his face and in front of everyone else.  Unfortunately, The Boy could see that he was left out again.

When we were getting food ready for Christmas Eve supper, I noticed that someone had set out a shrimp ring.  That is all fine and dandy, except that The Boy is allergic to shrimp.  I didn't really think a lot about it since he knows to stay away from them, but then I realized that if they pick up the shrimp with their fingers and then reach into the bowl with potato chips, they have just transferred the shrimp to the chips.  Or if they pick up the shrimp and then touch a serving spoon, guess what?!

So, I said to my mom, "We need to be really careful with those shrimp because if they...."

I was cut off by her abruptly telling me that, "He will be fine, it is just shrimp and he knows he is not supposed to have them." 

I tried to finish what I was saying, but was told, "He will be fine."

Luckily, I was able to tell Crazy Man (when he trailed me to the garage to find me crying) and The Boy.  Between myself and Crazy Man, we made sure that we were the ones who served him and got in between him and anything anyone else may have touched.

The Good:  I am starting to feel a little better.

The Bad:  I missed the first couple of days of 2010 because I was sick.

The Ugly:  I woke up to the tune of vomiting (my own unfortunately) around 6 a.m. on New Year's Day.

Now, if I had done something to bring this on, I would not have been so upset.  You know, like if I had drank to excess or something.  But, I had not even had a drop of alcohol the night (or any night) before. 

Nope, instead, some little bug had decided to celebrate in me instead.  Today, I am still with a stomach ache and some nausea.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that this ends really soon.

The Good:  My Big Little Brother is out of the hospital, I assume.

The Bad:  I am not supposed to know that he was sick, let alone in the hospital.

The Ugly:  On New Year's Day, Crazy Man called my grandmother to let her know that we were planning on stopping by, but I was too sick to do so.  She has called each day since to make sure that I am doing better.

Yesterday, she called around 10 a.m. to see how I was, and made mention of the fact that my Big Little Brother was scheduled to see the doc on Monday since he had been sick since Wednesday.  She asked if I had any idea what was wrong because she couldn't get anything out of either him nor my parents.  I told her that I did not know that he was ill.  She said that she had tried to call and check on him before calling me, but figures he was in the shower since he didn't answer the phone.  We talked a little longer and she hung up.

About 10 minutes later, she called to tell me that an old girlfriend of my Big Little Brother had called and said that she had taken him to the hospital.  She said that she would probably be in trouble by him if he knew that she had called my grandparents, but felt that they needed to know.  She said that he had just been taken back into an exam room.  My grandma said that was all she was told and that she would call me back if she heard anything else.

A few minutes after that, she called again saying that Big Little Brother had seen that Grandma had called and wanted to let her know that he was fine, but that he was in the ER getting pain meds.  Through all that she was told, Grandma felt like he may have a kidney stone.  She then asked me if I thought that my parents knew and I told her that they more than likely did.  She said she would call them just to make sure and see if she could find out anything else.

A couple hours later, I called my grandma to see what else she had heard and she told me nothing.  She did say that she had called my parents and that they were fully aware of what was going on, but didn't really tell her anything.  She asked if they had called to tell me anything.  I told her that I had heard nothing from them.

Our phone rang around 4:30 p.m.  We had been home for less than an hour at that point.  We were still getting things settled after having bought groceries and such.  Crazy Man answered.  His side of the conversation went something like this:"Yes, she is starting to feel better.  I'm sorry I didn't call to let you know the other day that she was sick.  We called Grandma because we were going to go over to visit. OK. Good bye."  

He said that it was my mom calling because Grandma had mentioned that I had been sick when she called earlier in the day and she wanted to see if I was feeling better.  She mentioned nothing about a sick brother.  I asked if she had wanted to speak with me.  He said that she did not ask to do so. 

I told him that if I had left my feelings on, then that would have hurt.  I lied.  It did/does hurt. 

I called Grandma around 8:30 p.m. to see if she had heard anything else.  She said that she had not.  She asked if I had talked to my parents.  I told her about the phone call, but that my mom did not want to talk to me.  She was nearly as upset as I was. 

I am hoping that there will be more good than bad or ugly this year, although it isn't starting off very promising, huh?!  I will keep my cold fingers crossed though!  Hope everyone out there had a great Christmas and New Year!

Crazy Week

When we got home on Sunday afternoon, this is what we found.

We had to hunt for the actual mailbox.  Once my Crazy Man climbed over the ditch and worked his way through the thorns to the other side of another ditch,

this is what he found.

Once I made it inside, I ended up calling the police to file a report.  I told them that this was the second time this had happened.  The officer asked if I had made a prior report.  I told him no and he wanted to know why I had not.

The first time it happened, it was summer.  We thought a tractor pulling a farm implement had hit it.  Once the farmer realized he had done it, he stopped and threw it in the ditch out of the road.  Now, we are thinking otherwise.

I also told the officer that it looked as if someone had tied something around it to actually pull it off instead of hitting it to knock it off.  He wanted to know why I thought this.  I told him it was because the nails holding the darn thing on were not bent.

I then went on to tell him that I had been having telephone problems that I reported on November 23rd.  I told him that the following day, I found this:

Someone had taken/destroyed the casing that is supposed to contain these wires.

I told him that these things don't seem coincidental.  He agreed.  He asked if I had anyone who was mad at me.  Duh!  I am a school nurse.  There are people mad at me on a daily basis!  My brother is also pretty ticked at me.

He asked if anyone had made any type of threats against me lately.  I told him that only my brother.  He asked what type of threats and I told him.  He asked if he should go speak to him.  I pleaded with him not to do so.  When he asked why not, I told him that if he went to question my brother about suspicious activity on my property, that would just make things worse for me.  He told me he understood but still wonders if it was him.  I don't think it is and told the officer that.  I told him that I think if it was my brother, he would make sure that what he did was more personal....and probably not a felony...just something to make me more scared.

At this point, the officer says that he will make a report and will have the police in my neighborhood much more frequently.  He said that he would try to have an officer patrol around my home at least once a shift.  I don't know if that is actually happening since I haven't seen them since making the report, but I guess I have to trust that it is.

I did tell the officer that I had a loaded weapon at the ready.  He told me that I had every right to protect myself and my property.  I told him that he needed to let his fellow officers know especially if they decide to knock on my door.  I would hate for there to be a shoot out by accident!

He told me that I am to call him immediately if I notice any strange vehicles in my area.  I told him that if anyone drives down my lane, they are considered a strange vehicle since usually nobody comes to my house without calling first.

In other news....

I was not at school/work again yesterday.  The Boy woke me up nearly in tears with back pain that spread around to his belly yesterday morning.  Once he settled down a little, the pain seemed to be focused around his belly button and then towards his right side.  He also had a low grade temp.

We ended up at the doctor's office waiting for about 3 hours to rule out appendicitis.  After the exam, the doc said that he truly did not believe that he had appendicitis, but he wanted the lab work to back him up on that thought.

He told us to get the labs drawn and then come back and wait for the results in his office.  He did not want us to leave until he could tell me face to face that the labs were fine.

Neither me nor The Boy wanted to get labs drawn!  He was quite terrified while waiting, but did an excellent job of not melting down.  Luckily the girl got it with one stick.  I was really proud of him.

The final word from the doc was this: "According to his labs, he doesn't have appendicitis. Could just be viral, but I will be here Thursday and Friday if you need me."

I am really glad that we didn't have to have surgery.  That would not have been fun!

Before Crazy Man got home last night, I had to take The Boy to my parent's house because I had to go to the funeral home with a friend.  The mom to one of the girls I grew up with died.  So, another friend and I went together.

This woman was truly loved!  We stood in line for nearly an hour.  When we left, the visitation was only supposed to last for another 45 minutes, but there had to have been enough people that it was going to be at least another hour and a half to two hours.

She was a beautiful woman, both inside and out.  I can remember her throwing her daughter a surprise birthday party one year.  She came to school and picked up several of us and then we headed to her house.  She had her daughter ride the bus, just like every other day so that when she got home, we were all waiting for her!  And this woman could cook!  She made the best cinnamon rolls I have ever eaten!  I know that my friend will miss her terribly.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that the rest of this week goes well.  We only have today and half a day tomorrow.  Hopefully The Boy will be well enough to make it through these.  He has finals both days, so I am hoping that those go well also.

The Weekend

I was planning on doing a post yesterday to show what we did this weekend.  Unfortunately, if you showed up yesterday, you noticed that I was no where to be found.  There is a good reason for that.

We were home sick.  Well, not me, but The Boy.  And, since I would never dream of leaving The Boy home alone sick, I got to stay home too.  That left me without the planned post for here though.

Today I am back!  The Boy is feeling much better.  Don't know what the deal was.  He complained of his stomach hurting for about 36 hours and ran a fever for about 12 of those.  Never threw up.  His temp did get up to 101, but it went away without me giving him anything for it.

Now the dog has it though.  Really?!  Yes, really.  Now I don't know that the dog has a temp, but I do know that he has been throwing up with diarrhea since yesterday about 5pm.  Lucky, huh?!

This weekend, in case you didn't know, was Wreaths Across America.  All across the country, wreaths are placed on graves of those buried in military cemeteries.  We did this last year at the closest military cemetery to us.  This is about an hour away from home, but since we heard about it, it has become something we plan to do each year.

We took The Boy last year and again this year.  We feel that it is something that he learn about and understand what it means.  I think he is getting it.  Of course, the worst part is the cold.  And I am certain that if given the opportunity to pass that up, he would.  I do hope that as time goes on that he will do it in spite of the weather though.

My Crazy Man (on the right) and Boyfriend rode their motorcycles.  They are members of the American Legion Riders and said that they were riders, not drivers.  Boyfriend's Wife, The Boy and I were drivers!  It was in the 20s with a hefty wind blowing.

On Sunday, the American Legion Riders placed big wreaths at the entrances of four of our local cemeteries.  Boyfriend saw a cameraman from the local news on Saturday and let him know what we would be doing on Sunday afternoon.  This cameraman told one of the reporters, and they came out to do a story.  It was nice to get a little bit of recognition.  Not for what we do/did, but so that maybe we could get more to join in with us.

I was wrapping some Christmas presents the other night.  If anyone has cats, they know that sometimes getting anything done with them around is a challenge. 

Sinatra was a good kitty.  He decided that it would be better if he stayed out of the way.  After all, I may be wrapping something for him!

Ziggy, on the other hand......

He thinks that he has to be in the middle of everything!  What a helper!

I am nearly done wrapping.  And am waiting on a couple of things to be delivered that I had ordered.  I also have to still figure out something for my grandpa.  Any clues what a 92 year old man would like/need?!

Rambling Thoughts

I am so glad that it is Friday!  Matter of fact, I am glad that next week only has four and a half days for us to attend.  And, when we are released at noon next Friday, I don't have to come back until January 4th!  The worst part is that I will not be able to post anything here whenever I feel the urge.  I will have to find a computer to use.  Don't think for a minute though that I would trade my days off for having access to a computer!

I have gotten most of our Christmas gifts bought and wrapped.  They are not under the tree yet though because we have not put our tree up.  I know....pretty soon it will be too late.  But we haven't been home a lot these past few weeks.  I am hoping to get it up this weekend.  If not, then it may have to wait until we get out of school.

I entered this contest with the letter to my younger self a few days ago. Thought I would have a decent chance since nobody had entered it at that time.  Now there are several others that have entered, so my chances are slowly decreasing!  Much easier to win something when you are the only entry!

Also discovered that according to Georgie over at decisionally challenged, I am nowhere near the last one to mail my Secret Santa gift.  There are still 75 folks who have not sent in the delivery confirmation number....and there are only four more sending days until they should be shipped.  I somehow feel much better about that!  I also got driving directions to see just how many miles the package I mailed had to travel from my house to theirs.  Can't tell you now, but I will once we are allowed to disclose who we sent our gift to.  I think it would be fun to know just whose gift traveled the farthest to reach it's destination!

This weekend, we are going to be doing something special.  But I can't tell you about it yet.  I want to have pictures to go with my explanations.  I will tell you that it is something that we joined in on last year and have decided that it will be something that we will attempt to do every year from now on.  Last year it was cold and windy and this year looks to be the same way unfortunately.

Have I mentioned how much I hate being cold?  Well, I don't like it at all.  As I sit here typing this in a supposedly warm building, I have a short sleeve shirt, a long sleeve shirt and a hoodie on.  Plus jeans and two pairs of socks.  And no, I am not breaking a sweat.  Honestly....my feet are still cold!  Other than that, I am fairly comfortable.

My husband's cousin is living in Hawaii at the moment.  She was saying the other day that she was going to the beach and that it was hot there.  I told her that I hoped that she and her husband were sent to Alaska by the Army on their next assignment.

The Boy tells me this morning on the way to work/school that he has two different Christmas lists.  He makes one for me and one for his father.  Tells me that this way he won't get duplicate gifts.  Smart, except that by doing this, when there is nothing on the list that I can either afford or am willing to get, then I don't have a clue that there are other things out there he is wishing for.  And I discovered that of these two lists, the items I have been presented with are much more expensive than what is on the other list!  I think the DNA Donor has The Boy convinced that I make more money than he does.  Amazing how that is so far from the truth!

I told The Boy that he needs to only make one list and then if it is a big thing that he is asking for, then if I decided I wanted to be the one to get it for him, I would just call DNA Donor and let him know to mark it off the list.  I know there are problems with that theory, (because I have lived through them) but I still feel it is the best solution.  Convincing The Boy of that is an entirely different thing.

Got paid yesterday.  It is gone.  Early in the year, I sat down and made a list of all our bills and when they were due.  I then made a list with all the dates that both myself and Crazy Man were supposed to be paid.  Once that happened, then I could assign bills to a paycheck.  Every bill has a paycheck.  Everything gets paid this way, and sometimes I get ahead.

How do I get ahead?  Well, some months have an extra week in them.  The way I do it, the bills come out in order.  That way at the end of the year when Crazy Man's checks get smaller because of less work available for him, I don't have to worry about not having the money to pay a bill.

I also have figured out that at the end of the week before I add in the next check, I divide the total my checkbook shows and take half of that to put into savings.  Even if it is only a couple of dollars, I have been able to save quite a bit.  We have been saving like this for 9 months so that we can have money to spend on our Hawaii trip.  I like being able to have money ready to pay bills so that I am not looking to see who can be put off for another month.

We don't make a lot of money, but we have everything we need.  And, even some things that we want!

Braces

I know that everyone out there who has children handpick anyone they take their children to.  Like doctors and dentists and such.  When you have a child who resides within the autism spectrum, this becomes an even bigger deal.

I have been known to tell a doctor to leave my son's hospital room and not to come back.  I have fired a dentist for calling my son stupid to his face and I have gotten into a shouting match with an orthodontist.

The Boy sees a pediatrician who is very understanding and treats him with respect.  He has yet to lose his patience with him, although you can see on his face that he is close!

His eye doctor was specially chosen because he has a child also on the autism spectrum.  I kind of figured that if he deals with this on a daily basis in the home, then he is the one to work with The Boy for his eye exams.

His newest dentist and I had a long talk via phone before I took him in for his first visit.  I explained that visits with him would be long and tiring for us all.  He told me that it would be no problem and that he had worked with autistic kids before.  We had one incident there, but a quick call after the appointment to speak with the dentist has cleared it all up.

The orthodontist is a special thing.  This orthodontist is the same one that I went to as a kid.  And, he has an autistic son.  That gave him two brownie points!

When I first started taking The Boy there, it was August of 2003.  After one visit in which we had to do dental impressions, there was a big blow up.

If you have ever had impressions done before, you know that you have to put this big cumbersome tray filled with squishy icky tasting gunk in your mouth and hold it until it sets.  Of course to get what they need it has to be pushed to the very back of your throat.  It gags you and you can't swallow, so you are drooling all over yourself.  Granted, all of it only takes about 20 seconds, but it is still a major ordeal. Or at least it is with my son!

What happened is this:  When we started going to the orthodontist, we started with a retainer to try to keep him out of braces.  Once they realized that he had teeth growing in funky places, braces were the next step.  They wanted to get another set of impressions at that point.

The problem started when they decided that he was big enough to not need me with him when this was done.  They told me that it would go best if I just waited in the waiting room.

After much yelling (which could be heard throughout this big office!) they came to get me.  I went back, calmed him down and we started again.  The girl that was doing this wasn't the nicest person and you could tell she had never had to deal with anything like this before.  It was in his records that you have to explain everything that is going to happen.  She didn't.

Finally at some point, the girl who had done the previous impressions came over and together, we got it done.

Once that was completed, we were walking through where the doc was working on another patient with family at her side.  He stopped us and asked what the problem was.  He asked if The Boy had been traumatized at the dentist office in the past.  He said that he had never seen a child my sons age/size act like that and that it was uncalled for.

Without raising my voice, I said: 

"You, of all people, should know what the problem is.  You were handpicked for several reasons, one of which is because you also have an autistic son.  My son has autism and you should know what this is like.  You should understand that someone is coming at him without explanation.  That some stranger is touching him without his permission.  That they are putting something in his mouth that has an awful taste and texture to him.  They are forcing all of this on him without his mom being around.  And now the doctor himself is asking what the problem is.  You, of all people, should know what the problem is.  And if you can't quickly figure it out, I will take my son and leave this office and figure out in the process how to make sure the community knows that despite having his own autistic child, this man has no idea how to deal with them."

This man quickly dropped his head and apologized.  He not only apologized to me and The Boy, but he also apologized to all who were within range of hearing our conversation.  He agreed that I was in the right and he was in the wrong.  He said that he had been having a rough day and took it out on the two of us.  He also said that we would assign one specific person to The Boy to take care of him.

From that point on, we have had no problems at all.  We got lucky and were assigned Shannon. She has been wonderful!  The Boy will not allow anyone else to touch him.  A few visits ago, another girl came out to get him, but he didn't want to go....until she told him that Shannon was busy and had asked if she would just go get him to bring him back.  But, Shannon would be the one working with him.

When he got the braces put on, we were told that they hoped that it would only take about 2 years.  We have had to go to an oral surgeon for a bracket to be placed on a tooth that was growing in the middle of the roof of his mouth.  This bracket had a chain attached to it that they have been "reeling in" to get it into the correct position.

On his last visit, the orthodontist made the mistake of saying that we may have to split his gum so that the tooth will come through.  He said that it was right there, but may need to be shown the light.

This terrified The Boy.  I didn't really realize how much until we were on our way to his appointment yesterday.  Normally, going to see Shannon is no big deal.  Yesterday, he was sad and quiet.  He told me he didn't want his gum to be cut.  We talked about our options (braces forever, or cut gum if need be) and he decided that he wanted neither of those!

Once his wire was out, he went to brush his teeth and I told Shannon what the problem was.  She went over to speak with the doc and give him a heads up.  When the doc came over, he apologized for making The Boy worry and said that the tooth seemed to be just about to break through!  He said that the gum covering the tooth was paper thin now and there should be no problem.  There was only one link of chain showing and it was easy to slide the tie wire through it.  The wire this doc uses is that stretchy type of wire that some folks use to string beads and make bracelets and such with.  The Boy and I call it 'spaghetti wire' because it is seems so flimsy.

That is when it happened.  As the doc was tying the chain to the wire with the spaghetti wire, it broke.  He was pulling it really tight and the spaghetti wire broke into two pieces.  When that happened, it also pulled the chain and (I can only assume) the tooth down.  Now instead of only one full link showing, there was one and a half showing.  And, it cut his gum.

The Boy didn't realize that the whole incident had cut his gum and caused it to bleed some.  Let me tell you though....when he figured it out, he told the doc that it hurt and that he was not very happy with him!  Luckily there was no crying or yelling, and we made it out of there a few minutes later.

On December 29th, we go back for his next appointment.  We are keeping our fingers crossed that we make due to weather (ya never know!) and that this tooth that we have waited so very long on will finally make it's appearance.

In December 2007, braces were put on.  In April 2008, the chain was attached to our little rogue tooth.  We hope that all braces are off by this time next year.  The Boy has already reminded us that the two years that he feels was promised to him was a lie.  He may not truly understand the concept of time, but he can do math!

Stuff

Do you know how hard it is to buy a gift for someone you don't know?  I have joined the Secret Santa Soiree (as noted by the button over there on the left).  When I stumbled across this idea, I thought it would be great fun.  Don't get me wrong...it is great fun.  However.....  

 

When all these people signed up, I went browsing all of their sites to see what I could find out about those who were on the list.  As I was looking, I came across one that I literally stopped and said "this is the one I will be paired with to buy a gift for."

 

I don't know why I thought this other than the fact that as I was looking, I felt that this would be the person that would be so difficult for me to buy for.  Why?  Because we are complete and total opposites!  

 

This girl is really a girly girl.  Me....not so much!  Now, I am not saying anything that she hasn't said herself, so don't think that I am judging her because I am not. She loves the color pink, and I think that I actually own one pink scrub top and a pink sweatshirt.  I do own a pink pair of fake crocs and the tennis shoes I am wearing are pink...but this is not my favorite color.

She lives in the city and as you can tell by the name of this blog, I definitely do not!  I also had a hard time coming up with something because she rarely posts.  It is really hard to get to know someone when they don't put much out there.  

Now, having said all of that, I think that I found something that she will enjoy. I make no promises though.  Is it a girly girl gift?  Is it something pink and frilly?  Can't tell ya that!  I haven't mailed it yet and I have not told her who I am yet.  I don't think that she visits here, but I don't want what I am sending to be blaring from the page just in case she does and figures out I am talking about her!  

Now all I have to do is pack it up and get it to the post office.  I am thinking of having my Crazy Man mail it while he is out on the road. That way she won't know (in case she does happen to stumble across this little lost in the woods post) where it really came from.  And, I am really looking forward to seeing what my Secret Santa picked out for me!  Maybe I am just as hard to buy for since I could be that person's opposite too!

In other news....

I found some of the items that I had bought for Christmas online for less money than I spent at the store.  So, I placed the order for them and will return the ones that I bought in person.  Am I the only one who does that?!  Please tell me that I am not!  I did that with three things this year.  Two of them were for The Boy.  I am waiting on the delivery of six or seven things that I found online that we could not find in the stores.  I have been told that they will all arrive before Christmas, so I am keeping my fingers crossed. 

The Boy is obsessed with this video game called 'Halo'.  Now, I don't know a ton about it, but I do know that it is a war type game.  I personally don't like those types of things, but how do you change someone's obsession?  Anyway, he loves the game and everything about it.  

 

When people use the term obsessed, it could mean anything.  However, when I say obsessed, I mean it!  How obsessed you ask?  Well, obsessed enough that he has already told me that he will be going to college to get a degree so that he can work for this company that makes this game.  He has already looked into what jobs they have available at this time to see what kind of degree he may need.  He has looked for a college close by this place to determine if they would be able to provide the degree he would need.  He has even gone so far as to look online to see if there were houses available to buy so that he would have a place to live. And, he only looked in a 7 mile radius from the company's headquarters.  I'm telling you....obsessed!

 

There are chapter books that have been written based on the game's premise and I took him to our library to look for them.  When he realized that they did not have them, he was a bit upset.  But, I told him that he could always request that the library get them.  He didn't think it would work, but I convinced him to ask anyway.  About four weeks ago, the library called and said that they had books on hold for him.  We went in, and they had ordered two sets!  They checked out one set to him and put the others on their shelves.  He was so excited!  He has been reading them and is now working on getting the last one read.

 

I found a big book called the Halo Encyclopedia.  This is going under the Christmas tree with his name on it!  Matter of fact, this is one of the things that I bought and then found online cheaper.  It was delivered last night, so this weekend I will be returning the other one.  

We also found that there are Lego sets that are based upon this video game.  Needless to say, he will be receiving some of those from family also.  He loves Legos and Halo.  How can we go wrong?!

 

This morning on the way to school/work, I asked The Boy if he had gotten his Christmas shopping done.  He of course said no.  I was teasing him and asked when he was going to buy my gift.  He just looked at me and said "I know people."  I busted out laughing and asked if he was a member of the Mafia!  He just grinned and said "maybe."  He just cracks me up sometimes!

 

I think this weekend we are going to stay home and try to get the Christmas stuff out and things wrapped to put under the tree.  First we have to clean out a path in the garage to get to the things though!  One of these days I am hoping to become more organized.  Maybe when we build onto the house that will happen.  Until then I am stuck with just clearing a path! 

 

As I finish up here, I realize that when I am able to sit down and actually type out a post, they all end up pretty long.  I can't imagine that I have that much to actually talk about!  And maybe I don't.  But typing the words rather than just saying them to myself seems take longer!  Sorry if anyone out there reading these things thinks that I talk too much.  Normally I am a pretty quiet person.  Always been easier for me to write what I am thinking rather than say it, I guess.