At Least We Don't Have to Set the Alarm

It is official.  Or at least mostly.

My dad is out of a job.

I am out of a job.

Friday night, after having worked all day, my dad got a message on his machine saying that there was no need to return to work on Monday since the locks had already been changed.  He was to call on Monday instead to set up an appointment to come get his personal things.

Fourteen plus years and he is given two weeks severance pay and no notice.  At his scheduled appointment to retrieve his personal items, he was escorted in by an armed guard where he had to sign in with the time.  This armed guard then stood over him watching every move he made.  Once he felt he was done, he had to sign out with the time and the guard signed behind him.

He was so intimidated that after he left, he realized he had forgotten something and had to call back and ask that it be set outside for him to retrieve later.  When he picked that up, he realized there were a couple of other things that he had forgotten.  He is still trying to decide whether he is going to try to get those things or not.

Once he was there, he asked questions like when he would receive his last check and that sort of thing, but was told that at this point the company has no money so they don't know when they are going to pay them.  And, you can't sign up for unemployment until you have received your final check.

As far as my job, I got an e-mail on Friday from the state which I didn't really understand.  One of the other school nurses that I know from another district called me and told me that she didn't understand it either, so she contacted them.  What she was told was that the Governor decided to totally cut the funding for school health.  That means that my job is no longer funded by the state and if the school wants to still have a nurse, they will have to figure out how to pay for one.

The superintendent was out and didn't come back until today.  And, (gleefully I am sure) he came to tell me that he had called the state to ask a couple of questions.  He told me that he was told that all he could do was to contact his legislators and try to get them to change their minds.  He told me that he would contact them and keep me updated.

I asked if what he was saying was that I needed to find a new job, he told me that he would keep me updated since the legislators may change their mind and go ahead and fund it. 

I asked him if I would have a job here come August.  He told me that if the funding was definitely cut then I would not have a job, but he would keep me informed.

I told him that if I were to be honest, then I can't sit around and wait until the day before school starts and then be told that I have no job.  He seriously expected me to do that!  He also expected me to wait a year to see if the funding would be re-instated for the following school year!

This still has to be approved by the school board, but most of the time, whatever he recommends, they go with.  The worst thing is that I will be on vacation when the school board meets, so I can't even fight for my job in person.

At least my dad gets a severance and the vacation that he has saved up.  I don't get anything.  And, I have to finish working my 'volunteer' month.

Anybody have a couple of jobs for me and my dad?

Pictures

I know that I haven't been here in almost a week.  I finally got all of my reports for the state done and I have been working on getting things ready to go for next school year.  Add that to the fact that I am tired and my brain seems to have shut down so I don't know what to talk about....and I haven't been here for nearly a week!

Last week, several of the teachers that I am working with started talking about Zumba.  Have you heard of this?  I hadn't.  They were talking about going to a new class that was getting ready to start in our local community center.  Seems that one of the local news reporters was willing to come teach it to anyone who wanted to learn.

When I got home, I was flipping through channels and discovered a infomercial about Zumba.  I watched it.  And figured that there was absolutely no way that I could keep up with it!  However, it did guarantee that you could lose one dress or pant size in 10 days.  That intrigued me.  And, the more the girls at school talked, the more I thought I may want to at least try it.

So, try it I did.  And discovered that I am so much more uncoordinated than I ever thought!  But, I also discovered that it was kind of fun too.  And even though it was a lot of work, it was exercise and it didn't feel like it took an hour to do it.  In other words, I didn't dread it.

And I still don't.  I have been to four classes and actually am enjoying myself.  I still don't have all of the steps down, but I am still having a good time.  I thought that it would be easier with people that I don't know, but being with folks that I do isn't so bad.

There are six more classes that are scheduled that I will be able to attend before we head off on vacation.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that my body reshapes itself to look better in my summer clothes.  I don't know that I will lose the dress/pant size before leaving, but maybe tone up a little anyway.

Moving on.....

I have taken several pictures that I thought I would share.  They aren't anything special, just shots that I took that appealed to me.

This is Little Little Brother with Nephew's new puppy.

I am rarely able to get a picture of The Boy because he doesn't like to be photographed so he hides behind others or puts his head down.  He thought he was hiding here, but his momma is getting better!

Little Little Brother decided to try the 6 pound Burrito Challenge.  He ate just shy of a pound of it!  It was really fun to watch him.

We were at a military cemetary in Illinois a couple weekends ago.  Most of the headstones there were labled as "Unknown Soldier".  This was a look down the path between two lines of headstones.

I liked how the sun fell on these stones.

This tree is working on overtaking one of the headstones.

Crazy Man pointed out this stone that looked like the sun was shining right through it.

That is all I have for now.  Hopefully I will be better about being here next week!

Birthdays!

This is a momentous post for a couple of reasons.  

First off, today is my Crazy Man's birthday.  He is old.  That is all I am going to say about his age!  

He is the love of my life.  I have had to go through a lot of things to get to him.  And I wouldn't change it since I know the outcome.  I think that I knew the minute I met him that I loved him.  But it took several years together and apart for me to be able to tell him.

I wouldn't change anything about him, even if I was given a magic wand and the powers to do so.  I wish that I could give him the winning PowerBall ticket so that he could have all the things that he would like to have.  And so that I could laugh at him when he buys the most ridiculous things!  But it would make him happy, so that would make me happy.

Happy birthday Crazy Man!  I hope that you have many more.  Especially since I know you will always be soooo much older than me, no matter what the numbers actually show!

Secondly, this happens to be my 100th post.  Cool, huh?!  Even better that it falls on Crazy Man's birthday since that is his age!  Guess that means it is happy birthday to this blog also.

Come on over, there is birthday cake for all!

Snow Fun

It has been a few days since I was last here.  But, we didn't make it back to school until Tuesday and then I was working on getting things caught up.  Amazing how if you aren't at work on Monday, you have to do double on Tuesday even with no kids at school either.  And, I know that it is early in the afternoon now, but I guess better late than not posting at all, huh?!

We were expecting all sorts of snow to hit us last Thursday night.  Did it?  Nope. Not a flake to be seen.  And yet we didn't have school.  Of course the one in charge of calling school off didn't do so until I was ready to walk out the door!  By that time, there were already staff members at school, most on their way, and kids outside waiting on the bus.  It was a cluster for sure. 

It did start to snow later in the morning, but at bedtime, we had not gotten nearly the 4-8 inches like we were told we would have at that point.  I did get some nifty pictures while it was snowing though.

 

  

 

I love the little squirrel!  That one and the two of the male and female cardinals were taken through my grandma's kitchen window.

On Saturday morning, this is how much we woke up to:

Yep, 7.75 inches was the official total.  My dad stuck a ruler into the snow on top of my car just to see.  He then told me that I needed to go take a picture of it.  So, a picture I took!

Unfortunately, this happened to be the weekend that The Boy was with the DNA Donor.  He said that where he was, there were five foot drifts at some points.  I thought that was kind of interesting and would have made for some pretty nifty pictures!

Because we were getting a lot of snow being forecasted, most of my family headed over to my grandparent's home.  They live in town and those of us who live in the sticks didn't want to get stranded, so we went to her house.  I convinced Little Little Brother to stay with us instead of at Big Little Brother's house since this was all supposed to be here to play in on Friday.

But, because the snow didn't show until Saturday, The Boy was gone so they couldn't play like planned.  Instead, I got myself all bundled up and went with Little Little Brother to the park across the street from the grandparent's house.

There we found a decent sized hill where we began to pack it down so we could sled.  We played for three hours, just the two of us!  Near the end of our playing, Crazy Man came up with the camera.  I took the ones all the pictures except the ones that have me in them.

 

We made a nifty little bump that we could jump, as you can tell.
  

This is how we rode down the hill together.  It wasn't too bad....until we hit that bump!  That is how I got all the bruises.  And yes, there are plenty!

We also were playing Criss-Cross.  Little Little Brother and I would head down the hill at the same time, but he headed toward the bump and I would bypass it.  We would see if we would miss each other or if we would collide.  Most of the time we missed each other.  But there were a few times that we didn't!

 

On Sunday, after The Boy got home, we went back to the sledding hill.  Let me tell ya....after a night of freezing, those paths we made were even faster!

 

  

We only spent an hour or so on Sunday because the sun was quickly going down once The Boy got home.  But we still had a really good time!

Good, Bad and Ugly

The Good:  I'm back!

The Bad:  Being back and having access to a computer to leave this post also means that I am back at work/school.  

And, having been gone for so long means that I may have lost the four folks who have unwittingly signed up as followers!

The Ugly:  Got to work/school this morning only to find out that there was no heat.  Someone who supposedly is in charge of these things let us run out of gas.  Therefore, no heat.  And it was only about 7 degrees when I left home!  My fingers are not working well because the thermometer in my office reads 63 as I type this....after over three hours of having heat on!

The milk truck did not make their delivery this morning, so someone had to got to the local quick mart and clean them out of gallons of milk so our kids could have breakfast.

And, do you realize just how many kids don't really get to eat when school is out?  I guess that unless you work in a school, you probably wouldn't know about this, huh?  We had a huge amount of kids eating breakfast this morning, even though it was only cold milk and cereal. We always worry about our kids when we are out of school because of this little known fact.

The Good:  We had Christmas with most of our family with minimal tears to be found.  I still have The Boy questioning Santa!  How else would a gift wrapped in Santa paper have made it onto his bed since none of us had been in that house for over a week?  The Boy received his first Lionel Train.  And he loves it!  I will have to post pictures later when I am able to finally sit down and go through them all.

The Bad:  My cousin did not bring himself, his wife or two little boys to Christmas at my Grandparent's house, so that kind of put a damper on things there.  Another cousin had shoulder surgery the week before, so he spent most of Christmas in a drug induced haze.  He was not his usual chipper self.

The Ugly:  I have to preface this by saying that it is not the number of gifts a person receives, it is more about the way people are treated.  When we went to Crazy Man's aunt and uncle's house for that Christmas get together, I nearly lost my mind all over one of the aunts.

It is known that all the kids get a gift from the adults.  That usually means that each kid gets 4 or 5 gifts.  They usually are not overly expensive, just little somethings.

Last year, one aunt came in and started handing out gifts.  She looked at The Boy and said "I didn't get you anything. I forgot."  She then walked away.

This year, at least she didn't say it to his face and in front of everyone else.  Unfortunately, The Boy could see that he was left out again.

When we were getting food ready for Christmas Eve supper, I noticed that someone had set out a shrimp ring.  That is all fine and dandy, except that The Boy is allergic to shrimp.  I didn't really think a lot about it since he knows to stay away from them, but then I realized that if they pick up the shrimp with their fingers and then reach into the bowl with potato chips, they have just transferred the shrimp to the chips.  Or if they pick up the shrimp and then touch a serving spoon, guess what?!

So, I said to my mom, "We need to be really careful with those shrimp because if they...."

I was cut off by her abruptly telling me that, "He will be fine, it is just shrimp and he knows he is not supposed to have them." 

I tried to finish what I was saying, but was told, "He will be fine."

Luckily, I was able to tell Crazy Man (when he trailed me to the garage to find me crying) and The Boy.  Between myself and Crazy Man, we made sure that we were the ones who served him and got in between him and anything anyone else may have touched.

The Good:  I am starting to feel a little better.

The Bad:  I missed the first couple of days of 2010 because I was sick.

The Ugly:  I woke up to the tune of vomiting (my own unfortunately) around 6 a.m. on New Year's Day.

Now, if I had done something to bring this on, I would not have been so upset.  You know, like if I had drank to excess or something.  But, I had not even had a drop of alcohol the night (or any night) before. 

Nope, instead, some little bug had decided to celebrate in me instead.  Today, I am still with a stomach ache and some nausea.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that this ends really soon.

The Good:  My Big Little Brother is out of the hospital, I assume.

The Bad:  I am not supposed to know that he was sick, let alone in the hospital.

The Ugly:  On New Year's Day, Crazy Man called my grandmother to let her know that we were planning on stopping by, but I was too sick to do so.  She has called each day since to make sure that I am doing better.

Yesterday, she called around 10 a.m. to see how I was, and made mention of the fact that my Big Little Brother was scheduled to see the doc on Monday since he had been sick since Wednesday.  She asked if I had any idea what was wrong because she couldn't get anything out of either him nor my parents.  I told her that I did not know that he was ill.  She said that she had tried to call and check on him before calling me, but figures he was in the shower since he didn't answer the phone.  We talked a little longer and she hung up.

About 10 minutes later, she called to tell me that an old girlfriend of my Big Little Brother had called and said that she had taken him to the hospital.  She said that she would probably be in trouble by him if he knew that she had called my grandparents, but felt that they needed to know.  She said that he had just been taken back into an exam room.  My grandma said that was all she was told and that she would call me back if she heard anything else.

A few minutes after that, she called again saying that Big Little Brother had seen that Grandma had called and wanted to let her know that he was fine, but that he was in the ER getting pain meds.  Through all that she was told, Grandma felt like he may have a kidney stone.  She then asked me if I thought that my parents knew and I told her that they more than likely did.  She said she would call them just to make sure and see if she could find out anything else.

A couple hours later, I called my grandma to see what else she had heard and she told me nothing.  She did say that she had called my parents and that they were fully aware of what was going on, but didn't really tell her anything.  She asked if they had called to tell me anything.  I told her that I had heard nothing from them.

Our phone rang around 4:30 p.m.  We had been home for less than an hour at that point.  We were still getting things settled after having bought groceries and such.  Crazy Man answered.  His side of the conversation went something like this:"Yes, she is starting to feel better.  I'm sorry I didn't call to let you know the other day that she was sick.  We called Grandma because we were going to go over to visit. OK. Good bye."  

He said that it was my mom calling because Grandma had mentioned that I had been sick when she called earlier in the day and she wanted to see if I was feeling better.  She mentioned nothing about a sick brother.  I asked if she had wanted to speak with me.  He said that she did not ask to do so. 

I told him that if I had left my feelings on, then that would have hurt.  I lied.  It did/does hurt. 

I called Grandma around 8:30 p.m. to see if she had heard anything else.  She said that she had not.  She asked if I had talked to my parents.  I told her about the phone call, but that my mom did not want to talk to me.  She was nearly as upset as I was. 

I am hoping that there will be more good than bad or ugly this year, although it isn't starting off very promising, huh?!  I will keep my cold fingers crossed though!  Hope everyone out there had a great Christmas and New Year!

My Husband Loves Me! A LOT!!

Hopefully everyone had a good Thanksgiving and was able to spent time with their families.  I also hope that everyone got the bargains they were looking for on the day after Thanksgiving!  We did both!

When I got home on Wednesday, I grabbed a bite to eat and then started in on the cooking.  I think I had said before that I was going to try to bake a couple of cheesecakes.  Do you know how long those things take to make?!  I worked on two cheesecakes and a sweet potato casserole and finally was able to finish after 8 hours.  All I could say at that point, is that those things better taste good! 

I had to get everything baked and ready to go because we were getting up at 5am on Thanksgiving to get into town so we could go to the Big Lots and K-Mart sale.  There were a couple things at each place that were high on the Christmas lists that we were going to try to fulfill.

The first cheesecake I made, we took to my Grandma's house.  It was Peanut Butter Cup flavor.  I thought the middle seemed a little less set than I would have liked, but Crazy Man had no complaints about it, so I guess it was done.

This second one was Turtle and we took it to Crazy Man's cousin's house.  We didn't eat until around 8pm and by then I was actually starting to get a bit hungry!  Crazy Man said this one was good too.  If I wasn't certain about the first one, then this one I really had my doubts about.  When I poured it into the pan, it was like soup.  And there was no way that it was done when the recipe said it would be done!  I ended up baking it for nearly double what it called for.  

I guess all in all, the meals were great.  The family time was a bit strained in both houses, but at least we were all together and everyone tried.  

Once we were done with our second meal, Crazy Man and I headed back into town.  We had decided that we were going to hit the Black Friday stores for some shopping.  I had my lists all made out as to what we needed and where we were going to attempt to get it.  

The Boy had gone to spend the night with his DNA Donor around 3pm, and would be back on Friday around 10am.  So, without him to have to worry about, we made our plans to stand in line. 

What we didn't really take into account however was the fact that the lines would be stupid this year.  Now, I have done this for the past several years.  I have a blast!  I hate to shop and this is the one day out of the year that I do all of my Christmas shopping to get it done.

We started out at Toys R Us.  They were supposed to open at midnight.  We decided to drive by at 10:30 and see how long of line there was.  If it was too outrageous, we would go get the second vehicle and my coat and then come back.  I had borrowed his dad's jacket just in case since it was supposed to get down into the 20s.

We ended up staying!  The parking lot was completely full.  Where our store is located, there are also two other stores (Big Lots and a fabric store), in the same plaza area and they share a huge parking lot.  Right across the street is the mall.  There were people parking at the mall and walking over.  

We were probably close to being number 300 or so in line.  By the time the store opened at midnight, there were probably at least a thousand in line.  It was unreal!  When we made it out of the store at 1:30am, the last person in line was standing where I was standing when I got into line.

Once we made it out of there, it was over to Kohl's.  They didn't open until 4am, but since we were up anyway, why not go get into line there?!  I got into line (about 10 people ahead of me) while Crazy Man took a nap in the truck.  Around 3:15, I decided that I was freezing and needed to use the bathroom, so Crazy Man came and took my place in line while I drove over to the Wal-Mart to use the facilities. Their parking lot wasn't too full at all at that point.

Once Kohl's opened, I made a mad dash in, got what I wanted and got in line.  Ended up that we spent longer in line than we did getting what we wanted!  But, I have to say, it did move faster than the line at Toys R Us.

Our next stop was at Wal-Mart.  Crazy Man dropped me off at the front door at about 4:55 and went hunting for a place to park since the lot was now full. He ended up parking halfway between Wal-Mart and Kohl's in the Sam's lot!  That Wal-Mart was so full, that there was absolutely no way you could have pushed a cart through the big main aisle by the registers.  Matter of fact, you couldn't even walk through that area.  We stood in line for over an hour to checkout.

Crazy Man then ran me across the street and dropped me at Target.  He went to K-Mart to get the one item we needed and came back to get me.  He was able to drive to K-Mart, find a parking spot, hunt for and get what we needed, wait in line for 40 minutes to pay, drive back to get me, and I was still in line.  I ended up being in the checkout line for nearly two hours at Target. 

We got Crazy Man back to the house a few minutes after 9am.  He went straight to bed!  I got into my vehicle and went back out to the fabric store that was next door to Toy's R Us.  The fleece that I use to make blankets was supposed to be 75% off and I was to meet my parents there.  I was in that crazy store for three hours.  And nearly all of that was spent standing in line!  However, I did manage to get enough material for at least 8 blankets and 4 new scrub tops for me!  

I finally made it home about 1pm.  The Boy had gotten home around 10 and he and Crazy Man met a friend for dinner.  I came home and crashed around 2pm.  I slept until about 5 when they wanted me to get up for supper.  When I woke up though, I was pretty sick to my stomach so I didn't end up eating.  Went back to sleep about 8pm and we all slept until noon on Saturday!

The worst part about Black Friday this year was the standing in line.  There really was not a lot of pushing and shoving and rudeness going on.  And, I managed to get about 95% of my list completed during those hours.  On Monday and Tuesday, I ordered a few things online and so today as I type this out, I am 99% finished.  I still have to find something for my mom and my grandfather.  Everything else is complete!

Crazy Man says that he won't be going to another Black Friday!  He says that he would have just as soon spent the extra money.  But, my thought is that we saved more than we spent.  I am not quite sure how that worked, but it did!  Probably because some of the things that I bought for $10 are regularly $25.  All in all, I think that we got some excellent bargains and I definitely plan to do it all again next year!

Irrationalities

I realize that it has been several days since I made a post on here.  I also realize that I may be talking to myself!  Matter of fact, when I first started this blog thing, I was talking to myself.  It seems that I have found a handful of followers, so maybe now I can't be accused of being crazy and talking to myself.

Sorry.....tangent started and I didn't know how to get out of it until it just finished itself!

Anyway...yes, it has been several days since I have been here.  The funeral was as nice as any funeral is I guess.  Geez...what am I supposed to say about a funeral other than there was one and it was just that?!

I have irrational fears of funerals.  Now, I know a lot of people don't like attending funerals, but actually attending doesn't cause all out panic in me.  I knew before going to this funeral that there is one thing that causes all out panic in me and since attending this funeral, I now know there is another.

When my uncle died several years ago, I had the misfortune to witness the funeral director closing the lid of the casket and sealing it just before the service.  How could this be a problem?

Well, when the funeral home does their job by making the dearly departed look as though they are just sleeping, it tricks the mind into thinking just that.  However, we all know that convincing the heart is an entirely different matter.  Therefore, when this man closed the lid of the casket, sealing my uncle inside, I began crying and having trouble breathing.  I couldn't sleep for days and still have nightmares about this.

I was terrified that this would happen at Crazy Man's Aunt's funeral this past weekend.  Fortunately, it didn't.  The funeral home waited until everyone had filed past the casket one last time and then went outside to wait until it was loaded into the hearse.  The door was then closed to the building, and then the casket was closed.  

My new fear was realized the night before.  We had been at the visitation for nearly six hours before we were able to leave.  Once everyone was ready to go, they all just picked up their things and out the door we went.  Several members of the family went to the local Steak-N-Shake, including me and Crazy Man.  When we left, I had an odd feeling take over.  However, it didn't kick in until a couple hours later when we went back to get my car. 

When we got back to pick up my car (because Crazy Man made it in from his job just in time to meet us at the funeral home), I started to cry.  It took me a few minutes to realize what the problem was.  

I said before that everyone just picked up their stuff and left the funeral home.  That is what the problem was.  Everyone just left.  I can only explain it like this:  this woman had been alive for 59 years, a wife for 41 of those and a mom for nearly 40.  I seriously doubt that anyone in her life had just walked away from her without saying "good-bye" or "see ya later" or even "love ya".  Why should that night have been any different?  And yet it was.

I know...totally irrational. I admit it!  The mind knows, but the heart is not convinced.  And as long as I am admitting irrationalities when it comes to funerals, I also have to say that I have difficulty walking in a cemetery.  Most people just walk wherever they want to.  I have to walk several feet away from the front of the stone or directly behind the stone.  Why?  Because if I don't do it that way, I feel as though I am walking on the person buried there.  And that is wrong in many many ways.

Again, totally irrational.  Can't help it!  I am sure that there are others out there that have irrational thoughts and actions when it comes to funerals.  I can not possibly be the only one!

Moving on....

The DNA donor did manage to show up to get The Boy at the funeral home.  However, there was texting between The Boy and him.  How did that happen since I made The Boy leave his phone in the car?  Well, The Boy went out to get his phone and see if the DNA donor was there yet.  When he wasn't, they began to text back and forth.  The Boy was told to meet out at the car to be picked up.  There were no words from the DNA donor to me.  And I liked it that way!

The Boy did ok at the funeral home.  He stayed there for about 2 1/2 hours.  I think that is probably the first time that he really was in a funeral home for any real length of time.  I can not imagine how he will react when he has to be there for a lot longer plus for the funeral itself.  Especially when his mom will be a blubbering idiot. (Worse than she is now, I should clarify!)  There will be a time in the probably not so distant future when this will occur since my grandfather is in his 90s and my grandmother is in her 80s.  Now, mind you, I am not looking forward to this time because these two people mean more to me than I could ever explain.  But, I know in my mind that this will happen.  Again, another thing of trying to rationalize it all to the heart.

Today is only a half day at school/work.  We then don't have to be back until next Monday.  These days off could not have come soon enough.  I am just so tired.  Physically and emotionally. 

Don't see me becoming any less tired on these several days off though.  When we leave school today, I am headed home to start to make a couple of cheesecakes.  We will be going to two different places tomorrow for Thanksgiving and I will be taking a cheesecake and a sweet potato casserole to each place.  So, I have to get those things started today.  I will try to get pictures of them so I can post about how they turned out on here next week.  Keep your fingers crossed that they taste decent!

Take My Ex....Please

Do ex-husband's have to take a class to learn to be first class jerks? Is that something that is written in the fine print of the divorce decree? Or do they have to really study this to perfect it? Or, maybe it is just something they are born with and once they are rejected in whatever manner, it kicks in against the woman who rejected them.

Crazy Man's aunt was diagnosed with liver cancer about 3 months ago I think. Things progressed quickly and she was put into hospice care last Tuesday. Two days ago, she died. It has been a chaotic whirlwind since Saturday. Everyone seemed to know that it wouldn't be very long. I saw her on Sunday and tried to prepare Crazy Man, but how can you be prepared for anything like that?

Tuesday, we didn't get home until late and ended up going to bed without eating. (The Boy had been with his DNA donor and had already had supper.) Crazy Man was up really early to get on the road Wednesday morning. He didn't make it home last night until 9:40 pm and was out the door by 3:45 this morning.

Because I am not a girly girl, I am struggling trying to find something appropriate for the visitation and funeral. Luckily, one of my friends that I work with said that she would come over this afternoon after school and help me find something that will work.

The Boy is supposed to be with his DNA donor this weekend. When I told him that we would be discussing as to whether he would need to be at the funeral if it took place on Saturday, this such and such told me that he would have no problem with The Boy attending the funeral "as long as you remember this and it won't be a problem when this happens with my wife's family." He then says "and you are going to drive to us to pick him up, right?"

At that point, I began to cry because the death had occurred less than 2 hours prior to this. I just told him that I was not going to argue with him and even though he wanted to make me out to be the biggest jerk in the world, I had no intention of ever keeping my son from attending a funeral of a family member. as long as it was appropriate. I told him that I was trying to do what was right for my family and he would just need to get over himself.

Last night when I found out for certain when everything was and what Crazy Man and I had decided about The Boy's attendance, I called the DNA donor and let him know.

We had decided that it would be best for The Boy to attend the visitation on Friday and not the funeral on Saturday. I told him that we would be leaving school a couple hours early and that he could then pick him up at the funeral home at 5:30pm. I asked that he come inside and find me so that I would know when he left.

I was told that I should just have him waiting outside at 5:30 because it would be disrespectful for him to come inside. I told him that it would be even more disrespectful for me to be watching a clock and that I would probably be having more on my plate than trying to keep an eye on the time. He then said that The Boy could "set an alarm on his phone."

Wait. Setting an alarm would not be considered to be disrespectful?! Since when?!

The phone call ended when I just told him that he needed to be at the funeral home at 5:30pm to pick up The Boy and that I would need to be aware when The Boy left. End of discussion, have a good night, I'm done.

I am sure that this will be an issue when 5:30 on Friday evening rolls around. Then again, with Crazy Man standing there, it probably won't be. After all, the DNA donor only wishes to control my life and upset me. After looking back on it all, I realize that he has always been like that towards me.

I am beginning to think that maybe it is just something these men are born with, and are therefore destined to become someone's ex. It's just that on days/weeks like this, I wish he were someone else's ex.

My Little Little Brother

Seventeen years ago, my parents told me that I would soon have another sibling. We were all excited since I had always been told that my parents always planned on having three kids, but after the second one, they were never able to have another. Now, while planning for a high school graduation and a wedding, there was going to be a third child.

As an immediate family, we were thrilled. Extended family and friends...not so much! There were some who went so far as asking if my mom was going to terminate the pregnancy because there could be something wrong with the baby plus, they were closer to the time of being grandparents, not new parents.

We as our four person about to become five family made a lot of decisions regarding this pregnancy together. The docs wanted an amnio. As a family we told them no. They wanted everyone to have plenty of time to accept the fact that something could be wrong with this baby.

How could anything be "wrong" with this baby? God had given him to our family. There was nothing "wrong" with that. No matter what, he would be brought into a home filled with want and love for him.

We were all together when we found out at the ultrasound that he was a he. We made lists of names that we all liked, and chose together. We were all at the hospital when he made his grand appearance.

On Friday November 13, 1992, my Little Little Brother made his appearance at 4:44 in the morning. He was perfectly healthy. Today, he turns 17 years old. He is a junior in high school and is basically a good kid! He knows how to deal with The Boy and is somewhat of a protector of him. He is the high school band major and can play a mean saxophone. He is also learning, quite easily and quickly, the bass guitar. He has more musical ability in his left earlobe than I will ever have! He loves the Cardinals and the Colts. He plays basketball, and is pretty good when given the chance.

This picture is of him with The Boy at the Jeff Dunham show we went to see. Next July, he is going with us to Hawaii.

Happy 17th Birthday Little Little Brother.

Day Off

I am writing this today at the library, and I know all of their computer stuff is different from what I normally use. Therefore, I am not quite sure what this will actually look like when it is posted.

Why am I using someone else's stuff today? Well, lucky me is off work today. Yesterday was only a half day because of parent/teacher conferences. When we have those, the next day, we are off. Wish we had them once a month!

When I left work yesterday, I took The Boy home and we got us something to eat and then headed into town for his weekly appointment. Once that was over, it was back to the school for his conference. He did excellent. He got six A's and one A-. I have to put it like that or he corrects me! Personally, I just say he got all A's. I am really proud of him.

This morning I got to sleep an hour later than I normally do. Wish I could have slept more, but we had things to do. Sinatra and Ziggy both had their yearly vet appointments this morning at 9:30. It is a 30 minute drive to the vet's office, and The Boy decided he wanted cinnamon rolls before we left.

Around 8:30 or so, my mom called to let me know that the creek was out and my dad said that I should plan on being out of the house by noon if I wanted to get out this weekend. And I definitely want to get out this weekend!

I just read what I typed and it doesn't make a lot of sense to anyone but me so let me clarify. The picture at the top of this page is what I see when I look out the door of my house. When it rains a lot in a short amount of time, there is some flash flooding. This means that all the ditches are full and parts of the road are covered and I am not going to drive myself through that water. When it rains a lot over time, there is a creek that is less than a mile from my house. It decides to get out of it's banks and flood not only the roads but the fields. And that includes the one that you see in the picture. When that floods, there is no way to get in or out. Therefore, I am stranded until the water decides to go back down.

Today, on the way to the vet, the ditches were full and the creek was out in a couple of places. The roads were not covered at all. However, when I came back through and hour and a half later, the water was higher and there was water covering about a quarter of one of the roads. When I left my house about 30 minutes after that, the road was about 3/4 covered. Now mind you, it wasn't terribly deep, but I refuse to drive through any of it no matter how deep if it is moving at all. So, it was probably a good thing I left when I did.

This is the weekend that The Boy is with his father. Crazy Man and I are planning on heading to Nashville. They have a great big flea market there once a month with October being the biggest of them all. My parents and my mom-in-law are also going with us. Crazy Man has a sister that lives down there, so we will all be staying with her. The worst part is the fact that we are leaving after everyone gets off work today and then coming home tomorrow evening. I would rather wait until Sunday to come home, but others have to be home before then.

Sunday is The Boy's birthday. He will be 15 and I have decided that I am not old enough for that to happen! When he is dropped off on Sunday afternoon, we will have cake and ice cream at my grandparent's house to celebrate. He tells me that his father is supposed to take him (along with 2 stepbrothers and a stepmom) to St. Louis to celebrate all three of the boys' birthdays. The other two had birthdays in September if I am remembering correctly.

Last Sunday, we celebrated part of The Boy's birthday by going out to eat. I will try to post pictures early next week of all the celebrating we did.

Until then, I am outta here. Gotta make sure everything is ready to go, plus The Boy is hungry, so need to go feed him some dinner.

Sick Sick Sick

The plan for today is to keep my head above water. Yesterday, was just total chaos. Organized though it may be, it was still chaos. I sent probably 10 kids home with fever yesterday. I had a kid in my office from 7:50am until 3:10pm. And school hours are 8am until 3pm! I was out of my office, I know, less than 10 minutes all day long. I didn't get to fix anything to eat and bring it back to my desk until close to 1pm. And I am normally able to attempt to eat around 11:30 or so.

Hopefully, today will be better. I have heard that we have about 34 kids gone at the elementary and at least 10 at the high school. Mind you, I know that 4 of these kids are not sick, they have moved and we are just waiting until a transcript request has been received until we can drop them from the roll. I think the superintendent is looking at the numbers and trying to decide if he should close or not. I am hoping that we don't make the numbers and can stay open.

Yes, I would like to have the next couple days off, but I really don't want to have to make them up later. Besides that, we get out at noon on Thursday and are off Friday anyway because of parent/teacher conferences. And, the health department is supposed to be coming tomorrow afternoon to give the H1N1 vaccine to some of the kids.

My Little Little Brother is one of the ones sick at the high school. He left school yesterday and my mom took him to the doc. I told her that he needed to be checked for flu, strep and mono. His flu swab came back negative, as did the strep. However, the Physician Assistant who saw him (I am assuming she saw him because the doc was too busy) refused to have him tested for mono because "I don't want to put him through that."

Let me get this straight. You just shoved a giant q-tip up his nose nearly touching his brain to swab for the flu. And you gagged him to nearly the point of puking to swab for strep. But you don't want to put him through a quick stick for a vial of blood. Please. He is nearly 17 years old. I am certain he would rather have the blood drawn than the brain swab you just did.

So, he is still home not feeling well today. I am keeping my fingers crossed that The Boy continues on the path of good health. As for me and my Crazy Man....we are both attempting to stay healthy also. If anyone gets this stuff, I would assume it would be me since I am in constant contact with it all. And, I have not been able to find myself a flu shot.

When I sneezed this morning after getting to work, I was told that I am a mom and a nurse, so that is two reasons that I am not allowed to be sick. I didn't realize that was in the job description, but now that I think about it, I guess it is. After all, who is going to take care of me if I get sick?!

Complaining

I know, I know. I didn't make an appearance here at all last week. I had a meeting last Monday. That just threw the rest of the week off. And, just so you know, I am going to complain. If you don't want to hear it, don't continue. If you like looking at wrecks, keep reading.

Yesterday was my Big Little Brother's birthday. Usually we get together as a family for birthdays at my grandparent's house. We eat and open gifts and have cake together. But, we also plan for this to happen at least a week in advance so that everyone knows about it. This year, I was informed just a couple hours before the event was taking place. I know that I should have been aware since it happens every year, right. Well, there are times that we rearrange the schedule so that everyone can be there. (That is where the week advance notice comes in.)

Anyway.....I haven't been on speaking terms with my Big Little Brother since the end of June. And, the speaking terms with my parents have dwindled to very little. All because I found out something about my brother that could have pretty bad consequences for him and the rest of the family. And I brought it to my parent's attention in the hopes of keeping everyone safe.

That is where I made the mistake I guess. My mom decided that my brother was telling her the truth and I was making it all up even though I have the proof. My brother discovered that I was the one who found out and made threats against me. Telling me that if he got into trouble then I was the one who ruined his life. Not him. Not the one who did the wrong thing, but me, the one who found out.

Therefore, I officially lost my place in the family. Not that it matters since my place in the family has always been on the outskirts. I am not treated anything at all like either of my brothers, always being held to a higher standard than they are.

I know it sounds like I am complaining. Yeah, well, maybe I am. I just hate feeling like an orphan when both of my parents and both of my siblings are alive and well. But when my mom tells me that she has to believe my brothers because they are her boys and she loves them but neglects to acknowledge that I am her daughter and she loves me too.....yeah....I am going to complain and feel hurt.

Granted, I would never say that to her. Why not? Duh. Did you not read that more is expected of me? If I complained about how I feel, it would somehow turn out to be my fault because that is 'stupid' to feel that way. Or I would be told that I brought it on myself because I 'make things up' about my brothers.

So, it was not a very fun party. I didn't take a gift. I didn't actually hold a conversation with my brother because I am still hurt/mad/scared. I didn't have a good time at all. Can you imagine what Christmas is going to be like?!

All because I was trying to keep everyone safe. I know I did nothing wrong. But why am I the one who is being treated like the criminal?

City Slicker and Country Girl

It is finally Friday! I think that if this was any day other than Friday I would cry. I am done with being at work this week. I need a day off.

Tomorrow I may actually get that day off. The Crazy Man doesn't really like the idea of my wanting to stay home and do what I want/need to do there. He says that "I only have the weekend" so he wants to do other stuff.

I understand that he only has the weekend. Me too. I think sometimes he forgets that I have a job too. Or maybe it is that he thinks that since I am able to come home every night that there is no reason for me to want to stay there on the weekend. I don't know. I guess he doesn't realize that when I come home at night, I have to do all the things that a mom/wife does plus some of the things that a dad/husband does. So, when it gets to be the weekend, I would like to just stay at home and do nothing. Or to do those things that I am just too tired to do when I get home in the evenings.

Crazy Man doesn't like the idea of me doing this. Last night he told me that it would be fine and that he could take The Boy and go to the other house to work on the shed. No problem. Except he has been talking about this shed for months. I guess maybe it is the same type of thing. He has the weekend, wants to work on this shed, but plans for other things to do during the only time he has at home.

Before I go further, let me clarify. We have two houses. In this economy?! Yes. When we got married, all of our stuff came with us to the marriage, which is what is supposed to happen. But all of our stuff included the house that each of us had bought on our own and had been living in. Because of the economy, there is no way that either of us could ever sell our house. Therefore, we have two of them. This is handy when, like last year, we had a major ice storm and could not get to the house in the sticks. Or when it floods and we can't get to the house in the sticks. Or when the power is out at one. Or when we have something going on in town that would make it really late getting to the country.

The houses are separated by about 25 miles. His/Ours is in town and mine/ours is in the country. We stay during the week at the Country Villa so that The Boy and I are closer to work/school. The City House is usually where we stay on Friday and Saturdays. This way we can get groceries and eat dinner with his parents on Sunday.

So, he wants to do work on the shed at the City House this weekend. That is fine by me. But, he doesn't want me to stay at the Country Villa to do what needs to be done there. I think he would rather we try to sell that house and just live in town. He doesn't like driving back and forth to town. Basically he is a city slicker!

I grew up in the country and really don't like living in town where people are so close. He grew up in town and doesn't see any reason at all as to why someone would want to live so far away from things. I grew up knowing that what we had in the fridge was what we chose from. He grew up knowing that if there wasn't anything in the fridge you wanted, you could either call someone to bring you something or you could go to the store down the street and get something different.

Our worlds are totally different. Not quite sure how we are expected to get along when our backgrounds totally collide like this. But we do. Although sometimes it gets a little rough when we both need time off to do things we think need to be done around the houses and we don't want to be apart to do them. I know....work together to get them done. That would be wonderful....in theory.

But let me ask this: How many women out there want their man to go through their 'all-purpose' (aka junk) drawer and clean it out? Probably not many! Or, how many men want their woman to go through their shed/garage/man room to clean it out? The whole thing is that we each know what is important to us to keep and what is not. Having someone else come in to "help" isn't always the best option.

So, I think this Country Girl will send her City Slicker husband to clean out his shed and tear it down while she is cleaning out her 'all-purpose' room. And, we will probably both get done a lot quicker than if the other was 'helping'. I am almost certain that it will easier on the marriage that way!

Guess What I Got?!

Yesterday evening I did it. I just typed in the information and hit the request button. I held my breath while I did it. And then I got the confirmation that I could have what I requested. Wow! It was scary and exciting all at the same time! It is still scary and exciting!

What is this mysterious thing that I did? I bought us plane tickets to Hawaii!

When My Crazy Man and I got married, we decided that we wanted to visit Hawaii to celebrate our first anniversary in July 2012. But, we wanted to take The Boy and my Little Little Brother along. We decided that this would be a once in a lifetime trip, so we started to save.

Then, Crazy Man's cousin and her military husband found out they would be sent to Hawaii in June 2009. They would be there for a minimum of three years. If we waited to go in July 2012, they may be gone. And it is always more fun to have friends and family around to do things with. So, we decided to move it up to July 2011. But then we found out that a couple of our friends who wanted to go also wouldn't be able to go then since he is scheduled to be deployed that month. So, we moved it up to July 2010.

And that is when I bought the tickets for! We are supposed to leave the morning of July 2 and our return plane lands the afternoon of July 16. When our plane takes off, we will have been saving money for 18 months. We know that we will have enough, because we have been cutting back on things for just this reason. We would much rather put things off now so we can make this a once in a lifetime trip.

The plan is that this will be a graduation present for my Little Little Brother (who is scheduled to graduate in May 2011). We are hoping to be able to take some pictures over there that he can use for his Senior Pictures. I love to take pictures and I think this would be a great thing. I would be able to take pics, and my parents would be able to save money. (Since we all know that the professional pics usually cost big bucks.) The Cuz's are scouting great picture places in Hawaii everyday!

I think I should also clarify a few things in the previous ramblings. After reading it I realize that it doesn't make sense to say I am married and plan to celebrate our first anniversary in 2012! It also may not make sense that I have a Little Little Brother who is going to graduate in a couple of years.

The easiest one to clarify is about my brother. I am the oldest of three kids. I have a Big Little Brother who is 20 months younger than I am. He has a 10 year old son. When we were preparing for my first wedding (the marriage that brought me The Boy) and my Big Little Brother's high school graduation, our parents told us that we would be getting another sibling. I loved going to the priest and telling him that we would need to move my wedding up a couple of months due to pregnancy! You should have seen the look on his face! Talk about priceless! It got even better when I told him that the pregnancy was my mother's and not mine! I thought he was going to pass out from the shock and laughing so hard!

We were all excited since my parents had always wanted three kids and had tried for years without luck. All of a sudden, we got what they had hoped and prayed for for a lot of years. It was a fun pregnancy actually! (I don't think that 'fun' is the word my mom would use though!) We were all there for the ultrasound and the day of delivery.

So, my Little Little Brother was born when I was 20 years old. I didn't know how else to distinguish between my brothers since I then I had two little brothers. The easiest way was to call them my Big Little Brother and my Little Little brother! Of course, they are both a lot bigger/taller than I am!

And that is the reason I have a brother who is a junior in high school and a son who is a freshman. They have been raised almost as brothers and look out for each other in the manner. They fight and bicker like brothers too.

As for the first anniversary celebration in July of 2012. That one is fairly easy to clarify and yet, not so much!

My Crazy Man and I met in 2001, online. We dated for several months and decided that it just wasn't going to work out for us. He had planned to become an over the road truck driver. I didn't think that our relationship was strong enough to survive being apart that much. So, we went our seperate ways.

Fast forward to January 2006. I saw him pushing a cart in Sam's Club one afternoon. I was going to say something to him, but then saw a purse in the cart and decided that I would act as though I didn't see him. I figured that the purse had to belong to his woman and if he saw me and wanted to speak, then I would talk to him. But I wasn't going to initiate the conversation.

Well, he did see me and called my name. He told me that he had a new "baby" and asked if I wanted to see a picture of her. Of course I said yes. He pulled out his cell phone and showed me a picture of a blue Harley Davidson motorcycle! I just looked at him like he was crazy. I told him that I thought he meant an actual baby. He said no, that he wasn't even married! I asked if the purse was his then. He said that it belonged to his mom! He took my number and we started to talk nearly everyday.

We talked like that until the day I wished him a happy birthday in March. He stopped calling after that. I figured that it was going to be up to him, that I wasn't going to chase after him. He called back on May 7 and left a message asking if I wanted to go for a bike ride with him. We then made plans to go ride on May 13, 2006.

That was the first real date we had since we had met back up in January. It was also the first time I had ever been on a motorcycle. We have been together everyday since. We have either talked on the phone or been side by side everyday.

On February 14, 2008, my Crazy Man won a contest through the Sean Hannity show where each Valentine's Day three couples propose. He was chosen to be one of those guys who was able to propose on air.

On February 29, 2008 (yes, 15 days later!) we were married in the local Harley Davidson dealership. We wanted something different and totally 'us'. And we got it!

That is why we say that our real first anniversary will be in 2012. In February this year, we said that we had been married for 3 months! Next February it will be 6 months and so on. We have been having a ball with it all! I will have to post some pics from our wedding sometime in the future. I don't have them with me today since I didn't really know that I would be writing about it!

All of that to say that we got tickets to Hawaii for next July!